Black Thought at the Highest Level

Posts Tagged ‘Black Women’

The Cares of This World

In Issues and Politics, Lifestyle on November 5, 2007 at 10:00 pm

“Do not wear yourself out to become rich; have the wisdom to show restraint”

-Proverbs 23:4

“One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.”

-Proverbs 13:7

“Havin’ money aint everything, not having it is”-Kanye West

I have spoken of this many times, but it is a topic that has turned up many times as of late.  So I am taking that as a sign that I should revisit this topic.  And topic has to do with money and our relation to it. Read the rest of this entry »

Interview with West Virginia Rape Torture Victim Megan Williams

In Issues and Politics on October 12, 2007 at 2:38 pm

Cross-posted on Brave New Films Blog.

The newspaper Final Call has an interview with Megan Williams, the Black woman that was tortured and raped by 6 caucasians in West Virginia recently.

Williams described the part of the torture like this:

They kicked me in the head with steel toed boots, they hit me in the head with several objects, I remember seeing a knife, and they tried to cut my foot off. They told me that is what they did to Kunta Kinte when they cut his foot off so he couldn’t run and that is what they were going to do to me.

My calendar says it's 2007, but this makes me seriously wonder.

One Love. One II.

Barbara Lee shows why I love Black women

In Issues and Politics on September 14, 2007 at 12:55 pm

Because they often times have heart when no one else does.

What’s even more sad is that I know that none of the current presidential hopefuls would have the heart to do something like this.

One Love. One II.

Disney: Black girls can [finally] be princesses too?

In Issues and Politics on September 13, 2007 at 8:21 am

Cross-posted at Brave New Films Blog. Also on featured on AlterNet.

Disney, the 800,000,000 pound gorilla of kids fantasy entertainment, annouced that they are going forward with their plans to have their first Black princess in 2009's The Frog Princess.

Disney has had opportunities to show the uniqueness of non-white cultures in it's films, but has failed miserably at doing so in a respectful, non-stereotypical way (see Aladdin and Mulan). I have zero confidence that this film will be any different.

This is doubly dangerouse given how Black women are portrayed in today's media. Bringing back up the Aunt Jemima images of old and coupling them today's over-sexualization of Black women and the racist indifference shown towards Black women sets the table for a pretty nasty racial stereotype feast.

Read the rest of this entry »

Black woman allegedly tortured by 6 white people in West Virginia

In Issues and Politics on September 12, 2007 at 1:39 pm

Cross-posted from the Brave New Films blog. Elaborated upon here.

Six white people are accused of kidnapping, torturing, and sexually assaulting 20 year old Megan Williams, a Black woman in West Virginia. It is up in the air as to whether this will be treated as a hate crime Hate crime charges are not being pursued.

Much like how Emmit Till's mother wanted his casket to be open so people could see the raw brutality of his lynching and murder, the Williams family has chosen to reveal the victim's name in order to force "the public to know what happened."

Funny how no one is calling this gang violence (see "Just in my opinion's" comment on this post). Oh, right, it's probably because the suspects are white

Read the rest of this entry »

No more!!!

In Community, Issues and Politics, One Change on August 6, 2007 at 10:23 am

Given the post I just wrote about saving our girls, this post broke my heart. I pulled this from BronzeTrinity. Read all of this post!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Austin, TX – August, 5 2007- Fresh off a battle with Black Entertainment Television, Gina McCauley isn’t slowing down on her blog, What About Our Daughters? McCauley is outraged over Al Sharpton’s planned ” Day of Outrage” scheduled for August 7, 2007, also sponsored by the BloggingWhileBrown Blog. Her next targets are Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, the NAACP and other African American elites who have been noticeably silent about what may be one of the most horrific crimes committed against a Black woman in recent history, she’s talking about the June 18th gang rape of a 35-year- old woman that took place in Dunbar Village, a housing project in West Palm Beach, Florida. Read the rest of this entry »

The Weekly Dream: Crisis in Manhood

In Issues and Politics, Lifestyle on June 22, 2007 at 6:18 pm

Father’s Day has just passed and hopefully you took the time to appreciate the father in your life, whomever it may be.  As I have written before, Father’s Day is an interesting holiday to me.  I am not a father, but I think the relationship between a father and a child is a unique one and it tends to be a more complicated one than the mother and child dynamic. 

As I was driving around the city last week, enjoying the excellent weather, for the first time I noticed that there were women and children everywhere, but you rarely saw the fathers or men.  I am not talking about young men, but grown men.  And I not only asked where are all the fathers, but where are all the men period?

Read the rest of this entry »

Maya Angelou endorses Sen. Clinton

In Issues and Politics on June 16, 2007 at 11:29 pm

I keep seeing “hat tip” on many Black Blogs so I am giving a hat tip to Jack and Jill for posting a video featuring the video of Dr. Maya Angelou endorsing Senator Hilary Clinton for President. Read the rest of this entry »

The Weekly Dream: Happy Mama’s Day!

In Issues and Politics, Lifestyle on May 11, 2007 at 9:05 am

Hello Everyone,

As you know, Mother’s Day is right around the corner and the malls and restaurants are filled with last minute shoppers trying to do something special for the woman who brought them into this world.  This week, since I finished my exams, I was laying in my bed and flipping through channels when I landed on The Learning Channel.  It must have been baby week or something because every show was about pregnancy and how families adjust to childbirth.  It was so real.  I knew, but did not fully appreciate what it really takes to be a mother. 

There was a consistent theme I notice throughout all the shows and stories I watched that day, and that was motherhood is all about pain and sacrifice.  I was looking at all these women and the discomfort on their face was palpable.  Lord have mercy!  It made me realize that the road to motherhood is one birthed in pain.  After they give birth to you, the pregnancy wreaks havoc on the body.  Not to mention that babies have some of the strangest sleeping habits I have ever seen.  One of my good friends has a baby and it is like he never sleeps.  She sleeps when he sleeps, and when he is up, she is up.  And the sacrifice goes on.  Man, when I saw that, I just wanted to say “Mama, I am sorry if I kept you up.”  Because I know I would go crazy having such erratic sleeping behaviors.  But I digress.

Read the rest of this entry »

Don Imus and Racial Perceptions

In Issues and Politics on April 14, 2007 at 7:13 am

This whole Don Imus-Rutgers Women’s Basketball Team debacle can be summed up pretty easily by the words of Imus before he ruined his career and the actions of the team since the infamous comments were made.

Imus is quoted as saying “My goal is to goad people into saying something that ruins their life.” I believe that it was Morpheus in The Matrix who said, “Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Black Women and Presidential Politics

In Issues and Politics on March 28, 2007 at 8:46 am

 

“Men might be the head of the household, but women are the neck that determines what the head does.” I am really butchering that quote but I think you get the gist; women truly run the world.  Read the rest of this entry »

Unraveling the Duke Debacle

In Issues and Politics on February 12, 2007 at 8:52 am

Last April, we were delighted to have special guest Sakara R. give a perspective of what is now commonly known as The Duke Rape Case. Sakara has written a follow up to that perspective, that is a reflection on how the situation has changed and what has been learned from it.

Read. Learn. Respond.

Categories
Rape
Duke
Black Issues

Looking Back

From the very first “Breaking News” report on CNN, the Duke Lacrosse team rape case has been as complex as any situation can get. Not just an accusation of gang rape, sodomy, forced oral sex and physical abuse, the Duke case was about race; a black accuser against three affluent, white team members, who happen to attend one of the most respected Universities in the United States.

In April 2006 I wrote an article for The SuperSpade examining not necessarily the Duke rape case directly, but instead the ripple effect it created. Most questioned whether or not the accused was telling the truth. Women of color understand how the rape of a black woman at the hands of a white man has historically gone unpunished. At the time, it seemed that evidence against the accused was stacked high. But no matter the evidence, the dynamics of this case made one thing clear-credibility will win in the end, not guilt or innocence.

A high-profile rape is not the same for a black woman, as it is for other women.

For this particular incident, race, stereotypes and racism jump to the forefront. For women of other races, to claim to have been raped does not include having one’s credibility questioned because of the credibility of another- Tawana Brawley. When the Duke rape case broke, it was less than 24 hours before every internet result found for the Duke Rape Case, was linked to the name Tawana Brawley, and thus linked to doubt. The idea that black women were more likely to lie about being raped was already casting shadows of doubt.

I wrote then:

Some of us may be too young to know the name Tawana Brawley- that is, until a 27-year-old black female student from North Carolina Central University stepped forward and alleged that she was brutally assaulted by at least 3 players of the elite lacrosse team at Duke University…Ms. Brawley, a young (15 at the time in the 1980’s) black woman from New York City, bravely stepped forward under the protective arms of Rev. Al Sharpton and relayed a horrific account of being abducted and brutally raped by 6 white men including police officers culminating in her being found bruised, bloodied, covered in human feces and dumped in the garbage. Her claims of sexual assault were nothing more than a successful albeit disturbing method of grabbing everyone’s attention. The fallout of her hoax (Tawana Brawley has never wavered from her allegations) carried long-lasting ramifications certainly even she never conceived possible at the time.

Six men were charged with Tawana’s rape, but never tried because of lack of evidence, including lack of physical evidence; if a 15 year old were raped by six men the physical evidence left from such an experience would be unmistakable and undeniable.

We thought we had that with Duke, ironically, because of the Tawana Brawley case- a case which truly has lived on in infamy, particularly in the legal field. Tawana’s case also mattered to rape advocates because it dealt of devastating blow to the advancements in law, advocacy and general understanding of what rape is and what rape does. In our male dominant society, it used to be next to impossible to have a man successfully investigated for rape, let alone charged or found guilty.

Knowing Rape

The history of rape (in American culture, not global) shows that up until around the 1950’s, rape just didn’t happen. The word was never used, and unwanted sex wasn’t even a consideration outside of unspeakable acts against children. For young adults and adults, couples married so quickly (whether they wanted to or not), and the general rule was that once a woman married a man, she gave him everything of hers, period. The definition of rape is “to take by force”, and since men ruled the legal system, and men literally believed that they “owned it”, rape didn’t happen. This is an example of why terms such as “sexism” and “gender oppression” exist.

In 2007 young men and women alike are taught that “no means no”. In the legal field we are taught that “no is a complete sentence that does not require further explanation or justification.”

Now, rape and all kinds of sexual assault are for the most part, taken seriously and prosecuted vigorously. But the road to justice is by far an easy one to travel. The crux of sexual assault cases lies in the physical evidence, and it is painstakingly retrieved from a woman’s body. Over time, medical professionals and law enforcement have found more and more places to look.

An evaluation for sexual assault is an indescribable, invasive and torturous experience. The last thing a rape victim wants is to be touched. The first thing she wants to do is get in the shower and wash her body off to somehow wash off the experience. But you cannot take a shower because the body is now the crime scene, the evidence and the witness.

There are three main categories for evidence in a sexual assault: physical evidence, DNA, and victim/witness account, statement or recollection. Physical evidence is not limited to a woman’s vaginal region or the place she was restrained- the wrists as an example. A woman who is held down and forcibly raped is likely to have visible trauma to her knees, thighs, vaginal area, hip bones and pelvis, ribs, elbows, shoulders, cheeks, brow, or skull. It does not take an all out physical battle between victim and aggressor to produce bruising in any of these areas, but instead little to no resistance, even tension and rigidness coupled with physical contact can produce bruising. Bruising, depending on the complexion of the victim, may not be visible right away. In addition, a rape crime committed by more than one perpetrator often results in external and internal vaginal trauma, and often times women endure an internal examination by way of speculum- often a point of overwrought emotion in hospital examination rooms for the physical and emotional pain which is unavoidably caused. Pictures are taken of any bruising, cuts, scrapes, or other visual evidence relevant to the investigation.

DNA evidence is not just about semen. Every article of clothing is collected as evidence. A victim’s fingernails are scraped out and various swabs and samples are taken from all over the body including from within the rectum and vagina. The victim’s hair is combed through and anything which comes loose is collected.

Rape kits are not always taken, as some women do not seek or outright refuse medical attention, but when a rape kit is taken, the situation is not just one of accusation, but one of medical diagnosis based on the evaluation of the body, thus law enforcement look to medical professional to conclude whether or not a victim was physically assaulted or not.

What we know now

Some may wonder why it is necessary to explore these details of rape and evidence, but the fact is it is core to evaluating what is left of what once seemed to be an iron-clad case. Again, from last April:

…witness statements (an observant next door neighbor) a time line that places her nowhere but the house rented by the lacrosse team captains, before going to the hospital by way of the nearby Kroger food’s parking lot and most important, a medical examination and rape kit that overwhelmingly point to physical as well as sexual assault, medical professionals who attended to her (and are specifically meticulous with this kind of evaluation) describe a level of emotional trauma and shock that could not be faked even an email from a teammate sent within an hour after the party broke up expressing a desire to want to have another party the following evening where he wanted to kill strippers and slice the skin from their flesh for sexual gratification lends itself towards “something happened that night” are all pieces of evidence the DA stands by.

In anticipation of a criminal trial and absent any statements or findings of fact, nearly a year later, this kind of seemingly rock-solid evidence has been whittled away by what we know now. Here are a few examples:

The accused: Reade Seligmann, Collin Finnerty, and David Evans

Witness statements: no one witnessed any forced sex or forced sex acts, nor did anyone witness any physical abuse towards the alleged victim; witness accounts that racially insensitive comments were yelled at the accuser are not, even if true, proof of sexual assault.

Ms. Roberts (the second dancer who was with the alleged victim) has given contradictory accounts. On March 22, she told the police that the rape accusation was “a crock,” and that she had been with the accuser for all but five minutes of the party. Later, though, she revised her story to the police and told National Public Radio that a rape “could have happened,” but that she had not seen or heard it (NY Times 2006).

Timeline: we know now that this includes having sexual intercourse before being hired for and attending the Duke party as an exotic dancer.

Medical examination: the nurse who assisted in collecting the rape evidence kit from the accuser states till today that the accused was severely traumatized at the time of the examination, and that there was noticeable, considerable, redness and swelling in the vaginal area. Records also indicate the alleged complained of pain in her hip and an inability to walk, and soreness and tenderness in other areas, including the rectum.

Before Sergeant Gottlieb’s notes were turned over to the defense, and before the judge’s order not to discuss the case, defense lawyers had argued publicly that the woman’s swelling and tenderness could have been caused by consensual sexual activity in the days before the Monday-night party.

Jarriel L. Johnson, a friend of the woman who drove her for escort service work, told the police that he had taken her to a half-hour job at a Holiday Inn on the previous Friday afternoon, to Platinum Pleasures on Friday night, to a Millennium Hotel for an hour on Saturday, and to another hotel on Sunday. The woman herself told the police that she had performed with a vibrator for one couple (NY Times 2006).

“I asked her if the exam was consistent with blunt force trauma, and she replied, ‘Yes,’ ” Sergeant Gottlieb wrote in the notes of his March 21 interview with the nurse. “She stated the victim had edema and tenderness to palpitation both anally and especially vaginally. She stated it was so painful for the victim to have the speculum inserted vaginally that it took an extended period of time to insert same to conduct an examination. I asked her if the blunt force trauma was consistent with the sexual assault that was alleged by the victim. She stated the trauma was consistent with the victim’s allegation.”

Dr. Manly, the sexual-assault specialist, found the woman’s head, back, neck, chest, nose, throat, mouth, abdomen, arms and legs all normal. The only “signs of physical trauma,” she reported, were three small, nonbleeding scratches to the knee and ankle.

A day later, the woman’s condition appeared worse. She went to a University of North Carolina hospital, where she had previously received care for chronic neck and back pain. Now, she reported that she had been “knocked to the floor multiple times and had hit her head on the sink” during a rape, Dr. Yvonne E. Lai wrote.

U.N.C. doctors observed a limping gait, and they confirmed that she had muscle tenderness and that her head did not have the full range of motion. They diagnosed acute pain in her knees, neck pain and contusions, and recommended crutches and ice packs (NY Times 2006).

Graphic email: The night after the alleged rape, one of the members of the Lacrosse team sent a disturbing email to teammates expressing a desire to host another party with strippers and that he wanted to kill them and cut their flesh from their bones while pleasuring himself was another disturbing piece of information, but not a damning piece of evidence that concludes beyond reasonable doubt that he was involved in a sexual crime.

Victim account: We know that this has changed in great detail no less than five times. First the accused stated that the rape went on for at least 30 minutes, but later changed it to 10 or 15. This alone could not conclude that any sexual assault did or did not take place as the tracking of time is not typically the most important thought running through a sexual assault victim’s mind. We know that she was initially unsuccessful in identifying her attackers; she insists one had a mustache yet none of the accused had facial hair at the time.

Intoxication: We know that the alleged victim claims she was not drunk when she arrived to the party, though she previously drank two beers and took a muscle relaxant. Her claim is corroborated by her associate Ms. Roberts. However, when she was found in the Kroger Food’s parking lot and approached by police, they reported that she was “passed out drunk”.

She told the police that she had had one or two large-size beers before the party and had taken Flexeril, a muscle relaxant. Both dancers said they were given a mixed drink at the party.

But investigators say that does not explain why the woman seemed so profoundly intoxicated. The other dancer, Ms. Roberts, told the police that her partner had arrived “clearly sober” — a description confirmed by a next-door neighbor — but became glassy-eyed, “talking crazy” and “basically out of it” within the hour (NY Times, 2006).

Toxicological screening is not standard, unless specially requested, in a rape exam in North Carolina. No such request was made that night. Defense lawyers said it would have shown drugs or alcohol. The Durham police have speculated that the test might have found a date-rape drug, records show; they have also theorized that the trauma of rape itself might have been responsible for her condition.

From the New York Times’ review of the case file:

On March 16, investigators began the process that has become one of the mostly hotly disputed elements of the Duke case — the identification of individual suspects. The woman was shown lacrosse team photographs of four possible suspects — the players whose names were Adam, Matt or Brett — and of 20 other team members. (Mr. Seligmann was among those pictured; Mr. Finnerty and Mr. Evans were not.) She identified four people she thought were at the party, including Mr. Seligmann, but none as her attackers.

“This is harder than I thought,” she said, according to Officer Michele Soucie’s notes.

Five days later, the police gave the woman another opportunity to identify her attackers. Officer Himan wrote that, under questioning, “She was unable to remember anything further about the suspects.” She was shown 12 more photographs, including Mr. Evans’s, his lawyer said. She identified none. Another investigator, Richard D. Clayton, wrote, “She again stated the photos looked the same.”

The third and final photo identification session occurred on April 4. Mr. Nifong suggested to the investigators that they show the woman pictures of all 46 white lacrosse players — taken 12 days before — and ask if she remembered seeing each one at the party and if so, what he had been doing. About 30 players had been at the party. Sergeant Gottlieb showed the woman each picture for a minute. The full transcript shows some precise recollections, three weeks after a relatively brief encounter with a large group of white strangers.

The third man pictured “was sitting on couch in front of TV,” the woman said. The fourth “looked like Bret but I’m not sure.” The fifth “looks like one of the guys who assaulted me.” How sure was she? Sergeant Gottlieb asked. “He looks just like him without the mustache,” the woman said. Ninety percent sure. This was Mr. Evans. His lawyers and family say he has never had a mustache.

The sixth picture she did not recognize. The seventh “looks like one of the guys who assaulted me.” Asked how sure she was, the woman said 100 percent and described what he had done. This was Mr. Seligmann.

Another student was standing outside talking, the woman told the police. Two others were drinking in the bedroom. Another wore khaki shorts. She said the person in one picture was the one who had given her the $400; this was proved accurate. Another was sitting in the kitchen, another outside, talking; one was sitting in the front row during the dance; another sitting on the couch watching TV; another made the broomstick comment; two of them she remembered yelling excitedly during the dance; and another, she said, was the third man who had assaulted her. The transcript says “the victim’s eyes were pooling with tears.” She was 100 percent sure. This was Mr. Finnerty.

The poison in the wound

Two words: Mike Nifong. We know that Mike Nifong, the District Attorney prosecuting this case, effectively lied to the court by way of the Judge, grand jury and defense’s council, when he “forgot” to fork over DNA results that showed the accused had sexual contact with numerous partners…none of them on the Duke lacrosse team.

Buried in thousands of documents handed over to defense lawyers by the district attorney in the Duke rape case was a stunning report from a private lab hired by the prosecution that found DNA from multiple males in the accuser’s body — but none that belonged to the accused players, according to a defense motion filed Wednesday.

The lab, DNA Security of Burlington, found during tests performed last April that not only did the DNA not match the three defendants, but that it also did not belong to any of their lacrosse teammates or anyone else who submitted DNA samples to police, including the accuser’s boyfriend. Those findings were not turned over to the defense until October, when District Attorney Mike Nifong’s office turned over thousands of case-related documents.

“This is strong evidence of innocence in a case in which the accuser denied engaging in any sexual activity in the days before the alleged assault, told police she last had consensual sexual intercourse a week before the assault, and claimed that her attackers did not use condoms and ejaculated,” lawyers for the three accused players said in the motion (ABC News).

Not only does this tid-bit bust a person’s credibility, more importantly, it’s reason for a medical professional performing a rape examination and collecting evidence to make conclusions based on all the facts. For his conduct, Nifong will go before the state’s bar on numerous charges of violation, including ethics.

Simply put, the man we thought would champion this case has turned out to be its weakest link, by all accounts. There is strong evidence that one of the accused was not at the house when the alleged assault occurred- Nifong has heard none of it, outright refusing to.

Not only should he have played his legal cards closer, but in his proclamation that DNA would pinpoint the suspects, he snuffed one very important fact: rapes can and do occur without leaving semen or other DNA evidence behind. In addition, the prosecution put too much emphasis on ensuring a visual ID was made by the accused; rapists go unidentified all too often. Just because a rape cannot be proven in a court of law, does not mean it didn’t happen; that is where many people get confused.

Nifong’s professional conduct and handling of the case has also overshadowed other DNA evidence found at the scene which is consistent with the accuser’s accounts:

The police recovered semen from beside the toilet — about the same spot where the woman said she had spat out semen from someone who orally raped her. It matched the DNA of Matt Zash, a team captain who lived in the house and has not been charged. His lawyer said the semen had come from other, innocent sexual activity.

Investigators also found a towel in the hallway near Mr. Evans’s bedroom with semen matching his DNA. The woman had told the sexual assault nurse that someone had wiped her vagina with a rag. Mr. Evans’s lawyer said that this towel had nothing to do with her accusation, and that the semen came from other activity (NY Times, 2006).

Nifong’s repeated fumbles led to a special prosecutor being assigned in his place by the State Attorney’s office. The credibility of the District Attorney has been shot, and the death ruled suicide by an over zealous prosecution.

Dec. 29, 2006 — In yet another moral blow to Durham County District Attorney Mike Nifong, the North Carolina Conference of District Attorneys called for the prosecutor to step down from the Duke lacrosse case.

The group, which represents district attorneys from across North Carolina, said in a statement that “it is in the interest of justice and the effective administration of criminal justice that Mr. Nifong immediately withdraw and recuse himself from the prosecution.”

As of mid-January 2007, and facing ethics charges that could lead to his disbarment, Durham County District Attorney Mike Nifong has asked the state attorney general’s office to appoint a special prosecutor to take over in the Duke lacrosse sexual assault case.

The upcoming trial

Now that the State’s attorney has intervened and taken over prosecution of the case- an entire review of the case file, evidence and witness statements is underway. Taking a lesson from Nifong’s actions, the AG’s office isn’t talking about the process they are going through, what they may have found or what they think may have happened the night in question.

But let’s not kid ourselves. The rape charges have been dropped. I can say that there is an overwhelming preponderance of evidence that shows that a woman was brutally assaulted at a party thrown by the three co-captains of the Duke lacrosse team.

It is likely that she does not know for certain who these men were, nor what they looked like. It is likely that they did not leave any DNA evidence on her body, and it is likely that she was slipped a drug in the drink given to her at the party, which caused her to appear overly intoxicated and confused. It is all likely, but it cannot be proved, and in a game where the stakes are the futures of three, upper class white men, circumstantial evidence simply will not do. Because of the prosecutor’s misconduct- not the memory lapses or inconsistent stories of the alleged victim- these men will never be convicted; there is too much reasonable doubt.

Lesson’s learned

When I decided to write this follow-up article, it was because I felt a responsibility to do so having brought it up in the first place. Because things with the case have changed so drastically though, this made writing very difficult. Pouring over page after page after page of information left me wary of what I might found out.

Last April, the main focus of the black community was “she better not have made this up.” We felt that way because the lasting ramifications of such a lie as one that cannot ever be lived down; again we look to the Tawana Brawley case to understand why- this is a case that has never gone away, and it is a case that made it harder for abused women –particularly black women- to speak out and fight for justice. Gang rapes happen more often than people think, and the privileged raping the not-so-privileged is one of America’s oldest past times.

As I combed through all of the documents, articles, interviews and files, I fully expected to come out convinced the alleged victim lied to the world when she claimed she was raped. Instead, I am convinced more than ever that the assault took place- in part, because the physical evidence is overwhelming.

I am angered, not at her, but at the prosecution, a man sworn to uphold the law, who instead cut corners, told half-truths and withheld evidence, a man who refused to look at the picture presented by the evidence, rather than forcing the evidence to fit the picture in his own mind. Nifong believed the victim had to identify an attacker, he believed that there had to be DNA, so he blotched line-ups, lied about DNA and other serious factors, all to ensure that a conviction is carried out in the end.

This is not how one upholds the law. When we allow the evidence to speak for itself, it does. It can’t give us any more or any less than what it is, and when one tries to force it, inevitably one begins to fabricate, which is exactly what he did. In this case, three young men, disturbed and calculating, charming and convincing, will get away with their crimes. They have jumped on the wave of reasonable doubt and will surely ride it all the way to a mistrial or “not guilty” verdict. Ultimately this can all be summed up easily; we will never fully know the details of what really happened.

The Weekly Dream: A Tree Without Roots

In Issues and Politics, Lifestyle on February 8, 2007 at 10:57 pm

A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots.”
Do not remove the kinks from your hair–remove them from your brain.”
-Marcus Garvey

Happy Black History Month! I was having a discussion the other day in various circles I travel in, and the same topic kept coming up: Where is the youth’s sense of history? Technically, in America, our historical memory is extremely short. We suffer from Societal Alzheimers. I am constantly surprised at how many people do not think about or remember major events they have lived through. In the alternative, perhaps we cannot appreciate it. It is too fresh. But what ends up happening is that either we begin to take things for granted or a lot of injustices occur.

Lift Every Voice
I believe that a major source of the ills in the African American community stems from a lack of knowledge of our history, which is partly our fault and partly not. I was surprised that my little cousins did not know the Black National Anthem. And then, Garlin posted the “Girl Like Me” documentary and it confirmed what I had already seen. The younger generation do not have a true sense of history. Thus the question becomes, how can we do a better job communicating our legacy and see it as a source of strength and pride?

Some Tips

I think we must begin by respecting and educating our legacy ourselves. How many of us “older” individuals (a relative term)really appreciate our own legacies and history? Respect begins at home. This comes by educating ourselves. Read about the men and women behind the movement. Any body can tell you about Dr. King (no disrespect), but what about the Marcus Garveys, the George Washington Carvers, and the list goes on.

Next we need to realize what the generation beneath us is dealing with and the world they live in. Every generation and time has its own zeitgeist, and we have to respect that. We may not agree with it, but we have to meet them where they are. The older generation has the responsibility to bridge the gap, come to the table without judging. There are some things about us you are not going to understand, shoot we do not understand it. But we need more inter-generational dialogue in our community.

Younger cats, lets restore the respect for the Elders. We should humble ourselves enough to soak up the wisdom and the knowledge they have. Even if we feel it is outdated or they are out of touch, you can learn something from anybody-if you are ready for it.

We must realize that our history lays the ground work for where we have come and where we are going and where we are now. It is because history is more than events in time, but they represent ideologies and ideologies do not die because they are replicated and become a part of our society, systems and culture (e.g. Slave/colonial mentality).

At the end of the day, it is all about respect. We need to educate ourselves and pass it on-By Any Means Necessary.

Realize you are the hope of your ancestors and appreciate their sacrifices. The ball is in your court.

Truth and Peace,
Steven M DeVougas

Categories:
The Weekly Dream
Black Issues

A Girl Like Me, and 3 Ways that we can Change Kids’ Images of Themselves

In Issues and Politics on January 24, 2007 at 2:12 pm

I was sent a video today that really bothered and inspired me. A high school student in New York made a documentary called A Girl Like Me (see below, linked here) that brings the question of our children’s images of race are affected at a young age.

This is reminiscent of the famous Doll Test that was part of the Brown v. Board of Education case against segregation.

How do we reverse this? There has to be a way to let Black children know that Black is good and not bad. But how? Since the idea of “white being better than Black” is learned/taught like everything else that a child absorbs, we have to think about what we are doing specifically to get Black boys and girls to think like this.

With this in mind, we need to be careful what we say and do. Here are 3 Ways that we can Change Kids’ Images of Themselves:

1. Be careful how we talk with, talk about, and acknowledge Black people
This means cleaning up our intra-racial dialogue. This means being careful about how we say things when criticizing one another (why do we have to say “you are a sorry excuse for a Black man” and not “sorry excuse for a man). This means no longer saying n!gga/n!gger to one another or anyone else, especially around children [of any race]. I would bet that even if a kid did not know what the word meant, they would know it was bad.

2. Watch what we watch, Listen to what we are listening to
Pay attention to subliminal messages in our media. Look for things that are being “said without being said.” For example, take TV shows like MTV’s The Real World. The majority of [straight] Black male characters on that show over the years have had non-Black girlfriends. The majority of the Black female characters on that show have been highly temperamental and standoff-ish. They did not outright say that “Black men want any woman that is not Black,” or “Black women are impossible to get along with.” The thing is, they did not have to say it. Take BET as another example, with their insistence on pushing music videos that push ignorant interpretations of Black masculinity and hyper-sexualized interpretations of Black femininity. They are telling you that this is what Black folks are. Kids aren’t stupid, and if they see a bunch of [Black] men smacking around Black women on TV, they are going to start wondering whether something is wrong with Black women. If the media that you consume is pushing this garbage, STOP CONSUMING IT!

3. Educate young people by talking about why you love your people
I am not talking about educating through school, which of course is necessary. I am talking about educating by talking with kids. When was the last time you, Black man/father, told your Black son/daughter or any other Black child why you love Black women or Black people? Black woman/mother, when was the last time you told your Black son/daughter or any other Black child why you love Black men or Black people? We spend so much time telling kids negative stuff: don’t do this, don’t touch that, don’t go here. Why not spend some time telling them what to do: do love your people.

Any other ideas?

News coverage and a brief interview with the filmmaker are available here.

One Love. One II.

Categories
Black Issues

Black Men as Sexist Racists?

In Issues and Politics on November 30, 2006 at 4:24 pm

Christopher B., who frequently comments with us, has short, interesting piece at his site on sexism. Here’s how it starts:


too many black men
blame black women for
white people’s racism

With all of the talk over recent weeks about various expressions of overt and covert racism, I think he opens the door for an interesting discussion about how racism and sexism play off of one another.

I don’t totally agree that Black men blame Black women as it is suggested. What I do believe is that many of my Black male brethren have become too lazy to try and overcome/work through racism, and have instead retreated to a position of taking their frustration out on our Sisters in the form of sexism. I think it’s less blame and more choosing to victimize Black women as a way to [unhealthily] deal with feelings of victimization.

Black women, do you feel blamed by Black men?
Black men, am I off? Why is it that some people choose to suppress others to make themselves feel better?

To me, the healthy approach is one of unity. Racism effects both Black men and Black women. I’d like to believe that we can use each other as assets to overcome the realities of racism in today’s and tomorrow’s world.

One Love. One II.

Categories
Racism
Black Issues
Black Men
Black Women

Post election analysis: How to keep affirmative action

In Issues and Politics on November 12, 2006 at 10:00 pm

This post comes to you from the friendly skies en route to Baltimore, MD. It is good to be home and I really miss my Superspade family. I want to continue my post election analysis by providing some insights I learned while trying to keep affirmative action policies in the state of Michigan.

Ward Connerly is hopping around from state to state trying to ban affirmative action programs primarily in higher education, public employment and contracting. He did it in Washington via Prop 5, California with Prop 209, and most recently in Michigan with Prop 2.

Now for anyone from Michigan or elsewhere who didn’t lift a finger to help register people to vote or educate people on the effects of banning affirmative action but felt smug enough to say after the election, “I knew Prop 2 was going to fail,” shame on you. I have had it with so-called conscious folks who love to philosophize for hours on end about the plight of Black folks and how we need to raise up but when you ask them to do something that actually requires work, their calendar is suddenly filled to the brim.

Being conscious is a step in the right direction but it is not enough. When I ask you to help do phone banking, I don’t want to hear you talk about the nuances of institutional racism. There is a time and a place for that but right now, all I need is a yes or no. I already agree with you and I am only going to nod my head in agreement. And if you claim to be as conscious as you claim to be, let’s see to it that our actions have the same intensity.

I got a little side-tracked for a minute, but I do not apologize.

Anyways, Ward Connerly is putting ballot initiatives up that attempt to ban affirmative action which means that in order to beat this guy, we have to make sure people vote in favor to support affirmative action. But we forgot about a crucial lesson in Michigan that I hope you don’t make in your state as well. Before you start screaming, “Vote to Support Affirmative Action!” make sure the organizing coalition you are apart of actually implements a comprehensive voter registration drive.

Why do I say that? Well, once you actually do voter registration, you can then call these people and educate them on affirmative action. When this doesn’t happen, your get out the vote efforts are not strategic and all you end up doing is conducting a visibility campaign, which will inevitably result in mobilizing people to vote that are not registered to vote! It sounds so simple I know, but registering people to vote is taken for granted more often than you would care to realize.

Secondly, most research shows that in order to win a campaign to support affirmative action, you have to target white women because they will provide the necessary electoral support to tip the election in your favor. On its face, this thinking is logical and reasonable. However, not ALL of your efforts should be devoted to targeting white women. Why? Because you will more than likely develop a coalition that is largely comprised of men and women of color and then you will try to get this coalition to convince White women to vote to support affirmative action. This strategy is not only embarrassing but it is not sound. Most people tend to trust people that look like them, period. So what ended up happening in Michigan (in my opinion) is that largely people of color targeted white women while neglecting the very communities of color that need to educated on the effects of affirmative action. Now I am not saying that only Blacks can talk to Blacks, but what I am saying is that in terms of strategy, never forget to take care of your base.

In fact, I know a large number of White women that understand and can explain the benefits of affirmative action for all people. For example if you have a strategy to send me (tall Black dude) to do canvassing in a majority-White suburb versus a white girl, who would you send? I am not saying I wouldn’t be effective but let’s think strategically. If white women need to be targeted, then we need to recruit conscious white women that are willing to go out in their communities and tell people about the truth of affirmative action.

As for people of color, don’t assume that all people of color are automatically going to support affirmative action. Many families of color do not have the pleasure to check email, read the news/blogs etc. at work or at home for that matter. Do you even know how fortunate you are to be reading this post right now? Stop taking your access to information for granted and throwing a fit when you talk to a person of color that never heard of affirmative action.

Lastly, don’t wait until the question is on the ballot before you act. If you wait until then, the battle will be immensely difficult moving forward. Proposition 2 should never have even made it on the ballot and you should be making plans now so that it doesn’t make it on your ballot. One thing that liberal minded people haven’t quite mastered is the supreme importance of framing the debate before the debate. The way that Prop 2 was worded was so twisted that many people thought that they were supporting affirmative action when in fact they were voting against it. Here is how it worked in Michigan, voting no meant that you wanted to support affirmative action. And voting yes meant you wanted to ban affirmative action. In other words, no meant yes, and yes meant no. By not addressing this backwards logic will greatly hamper your organizing efforts so get in the game early.

I just realized this post is getting really long so I will just stop for now.

Stay up fam,

Brandon Q.

Categories:
affirmativeaction
politics

Republicans Ad refers to a Black Woman as a ‘ho’

In Issues and Politics on October 20, 2006 at 2:10 pm

Wow. There is a Republican radio ad running in a number of congressional districts that refers to Black Women as ‘hos.’ This is in the context of an ad that features a conversation between two Black men. Here is the excerpt from the ad (from the article, with my emphasis added):


“If you make a little mistake with one of your ‘hos,’ you’ll want to dispose of that problem tout suite, no questions asked,” one of the men says.
“That’s too cold. I don’t snuff my own seed,” the other replies.
“Maybe you do have a reason to vote Republican,” the first man says.

The ad is sponsored America’s PAC, a group with a history of targeting inflamatory, race-baiting, misleading ads at Black and Hispanic voters.

This is yet another example of why we need to pay close attention to the messages that are sent for us to consume. Regardless of where you stand on abortion, this is just crazy. The level of racist indifference toward the usage of this word towards Black women is reprehensible.

Am I over-reacting?

One Love. One II.

Categories:
Politics
Voting
Abortion
Black Issues

Loneliness, Black Men, and Friendships: Part IV

In Lifestyle on September 29, 2006 at 7:57 am

For those keeping score at home, we are at Part 4 in our series on Black male friendships. Up until this point, I have not discussed the issue of how women figure into the situation. And because one post would have been too long, at a later time I will explore how friendships are affected by men in relationships. But today, we will focus on the single brothers.

Let me say for starters that it is probably easier for single brothers to manage more meaningful male friendships. However, this is not always the case.

When things are down, do you call your boy or your “friend”
One issue that many single brothers have to deal with is going through emotional downtimes. And for a myriad of reasons, it is easier for many of us to share our deepest feelings with women rather than men. Now I understand that if you need to get something off your chest, then by all means do what you have to do. However, we should take a step back to think of the long-term implications of never being able to tell your boy what is really going on in your life.

If we were really honest, most brothers do not use each other as sounding boards. However, it is not until a situation has either blown up or otherwise finished, that a brother will then share what happened. But we need to get to a place where we have conversations like this; “Steve, I have this situation and these are the options I am looking at, let me know what you think.”

And since conversations like this are not widespread, it is often the case that brothers will turn to their girl “friends” for comfort. But here’s the twist, whether you are attracted to the woman or not, there is something very intoxicating having a woman listen to your woes while your head is in her lap, figuratively speaking. Now I am not saying brothers shouldn’t be talking to sisters but I am challenging brothers to be honest about what is accomplished after they have heart to hearts with their girl “friends.” Do you get sound, practical advice that you use to help your situation? Do you start out trying to get sound advice but end up talking about topics completely unrelated? Are you intentionally unintentionally laying the foundation for a relationship? Do you find yourself more attracted to this person after talking and/or are you sending signals that might be misconstrued that you may want more than just friendship?

I pray that at least one of these questions speak to you where you are at. My point though is that the majority of these issues could be alleviated if brothers had the courage to have more meaningful conversations beyond work, women, and sports. To be clear, this is not an either/or proposition, such that brothers should only talk to women or men. However, the current balance is heavily in favor of women and we need to tip the balance in the other direction.

Psuedo-girlfriends
For players and non-players alike, it does you no good to be running around with pseudo-girlfriends because you afraid to be lonely. Do some self-evaluation so you can be a better boyfriend/husband for your next relationship. What I mean by pseudo-girlfriend is someone (where there is an established mutual attraction) who fulfills one or some of your needs, but you have no intention of making her your girlfriend. Some examples include but are not limited to physical intimacy, spirituality, emotional support, intellectual debate, hanging out, etc. Situations like this are one of the sure fire ways to guarantee an argument framed around, “What are we?” or “Are we building something serious or not?” So beyond having clear communication, it is important to take advantage of being single and use that time to grow in all the ways you deem important. However, this constant girlfriend status (real or pseudo) does little to help this process. Nor does it help the women who think they are building something that is really all smoke and mirrors.

And if you can’t talk to your friends about real issues, why are they your friends to begin with?

In a word, get off the bosom fellas,

Stay up fam,

Categories:
friendships
blackmen
blackissues

Loneliness, Black Men, and Friendships: Part II

In Lifestyle on August 8, 2006 at 9:47 pm

What’s up Superspade family, this post represents Part II of my series concerning Loneliness, Black Men, and Friendships. Today we are going to address the paranoia that concerns Black male friendships and the suspicion of homosexuality. It is time to talk about the elephant in the room.

This post is specifically dedicated to my nephew, whose relentless curiosity and dedication to living a Godly lifestyle never ceases to amaze me. Keep the faith little homie,

Love, Uncle Brandon.

To kick off our discussion, I turn to Lady B, whose comment on the first post sets the stage perfectly,

“If you want to see something dear just watch little boys playing and sharing together in kindergarten and first grade – then something happens and they are taught that they are not suppose to be close or love other boys unless they are gay this is not right.”

Young kids, Black boys in particular, are being robbed of their innocence earlier and earlier. For example, when I grew up in Detroit, my best friends became my “play” cousins. For those of you that have never heard of this term, a “play” cousin is someone who is a close friend so much that you can depend on them like you would a member of your family. In the Black community, a play cousin carries with it a measurable amount of significance. Now can you remember the last time you heard Black men or Black folks for that matter, talk about play cousins or some similar moniker? I certainly can’t remember and I think similar traditions that Black men used to engage in represent a downward shift in the innocence that used to define healthy Black male friendships.

Now fast forward to current debate about brothers on the down low. Thanks to JL King, brothers all over the country are having their sexuality questioned overtly or implicitly. To be clear, I believe that the health and emotional fall out from brothers being on the down low is indeed a legitimate problem in the Black community. However, maybe we should rethink our efforts to encourage brothers to be honest about their sexual activities. I say this because I think we have made it so that many heterosexual Black men, in attempts to avoid suspicion, have withdrawn from their Black male friendships and overcompensated in their female relationships.

So now we find ourselves with Black men with a jaded sense of innocence combined with a barrage of suspicions surrounding their sexuality. These two factors I believe work together to destroy sound friendships between Black men.

Some of the effects of the down-low paranoia have caused Black men to engage in the following behavior to various degrees;

1) We for the most part feel comfortable hanging out with the guys, but a certain stigma surrounds hanging out with just one of our friends.

2) Our sexuality has become more of a central part of what we define as masculinity. As a result, some men to overcompensate their love and appreciation of women almost to the extent of becoming womanizers in order to prove they are not homosexuals.

3) There is a more marked shift between having boys and having friends. Focusing more on having boys enables men to do guy things while keeping enough emotional distance from each other to maintain deniability.

4) We have come to rely on our female friends to be our male friend fill-ins.

5) We don’t use each other as sounding boards before the jinks goes down. This is because we rarely ever tell our male friends anything of substance unless our plans or mistakes have been obliterated.

6) Unless we have something specific to talk about, we don’t call just to touch base and see what is going on in each other’s life for fear of looking like we are keeping too many tabs on our male friends.

7) We don’t feel comfortable sharing emotions with our male friends because if we even do that to begin with, we typically focus these conversations towards our female friends. We rarely tell our male friends that we appreciate them being there for us when they helped us through that tough situation. Or God forbid, we wouldn’t be caught dead telling our male friends that we love them (look up agape and phileo in the Greek language).

Of course, this list could go on and on, but I want you to add to this list based on your own observations and/or experiences. Nevertheless, I don’t think anyone could reasonably argue that the down low paranoia has not affected the quality of Black male friendships. As such, it behooves us to continue to address brothers leading double sexual lives (this includes cheating with other women too!) but at the same time, we have to create and protect spaces for Black men to share in meaningful dialogues. But when we cast a shadow of doubt over Black male friendships, we end up endangering these spaces and create more problems than we solve.

So let me leave you with these questions,

For the men, have you allowed other people’s suspicions affect the way you interact with other men in the light of the community concern about brothers on the down low?

How do you think the down low paranoia has affected the quality of Black male friendships?

How can we address this issue without endangering healthy Black male friendships?

Looking forward to your responses as we call out the elephant in the room,

Stay up fam,

Brandon.

Loneliness, Black men, and Friendships: Part I

In Lifestyle on July 27, 2006 at 10:30 am

Superspade family, I am starting a 12-part series dealing with Loneliness, Black men, and Friendships. I think this issue is a silent crisis that is crippling Black men and our ability to forge meaningful relationships with each other while also seriously undermining our coping skills as life presents constant challenges. To be sure, I bounced around the ideas I had for this series with a handful of folks and based off the spirited exchanges, I knew God placed this issue on my heart for a reason.

And while this series will deal exclusively with Black men, it is applicable to a wide range of people. So I encourage men and women to add their thoughts as I am sure the issues discussed will broaden as deep and wide as the glaciers that span the polar ice caps. So to break the ice as it were, I thought I should kick things off with an introduction.

So imagine this, a young Black man in his late twenties to early thirties is preparing to get married. Everything is going fine; he and his fiancée are going through pre-marriage counseling and they joke about how silly it is to compare and contrast the prices for seat covers. So one night, the bride-to-be gives her fiancée the list she compiled for all the bridesmaids she wants to have in the wedding. She asks him what he thinks and her man looks over the list of five bridesmaids and says, (like Eddie Murphy in Raw) “OK.” The bride-to-be then informs her fiancée that he needs to find five groomsmen.

That scenario inspired this whole series because the fact is, most men do not have five best friends they can count on to be groomsmen in their wedding. I know most guys will recruit some family members to fill in the empty spots but for our purposes, let’s assume there will be no family fill-ins even though family can be your friends as well.

Do you have five close male friends you can call on? Really ponder that for a moment.

I surely don’t have five close male friends I could call on and I am sure many other Black men fit this same profile. And let’s not get caught up in semantics here, if you have three Black male friends, I am not saying you need to pick up two more. However, it is imperative that we take a bird’s eye view and understand what is happening to the quantity and quality of our Black male friendships as many of us suffer in silence, no matter the socioeconomic status.

Additionally, the machismo culture we live in has done a number on lessening the quality of Black male friendships as materialism and the quest for women has occupied far too much of our time and resources. You may ask why I keep harping on friendships between Black men, and here’s why. I believe that that when a man can share his hopes, heart, and fears with another man, that avenue empowers the entire community, period.

Moreover, I believe many Black men have learned to depend too much on female friendships to the point where we only feel comfortable sharing our emotions (if we even do that) with women. And as many of you can attest, the plethora of male-female friendships presents a whole range of issues that I will delve into later in the series. So regardless of your personal ratio of male friends to female friends, our community will prove to be so much stronger if we can better negotiate same gender friendships. This is particularly poignant when we can create spaces for Black men that facilitate friendships that are long-lasting, meaningful, and uplifting.

And so we are on the same page, I am coming to grips with my own issues concerning Black male friendships, so this series is less concerned with me coming up with answers rather than asking the right questions. My experiences and observations and conversations throughout my lifetime largely inform this series which means that if you disagree with I am trying to make, please make your presence felt. We all come from different walks from life so I will ask you the reader to help make this mosaic of understanding deeper levels of Black Thought as it concerns, Loneliness, Black Men, and Friendships.

There will be new posts once a week, so watch out for the second part in this series as we explore how Black men can come to grips with the fact that we don’t have many friends without sounding sappy.

Stay up fam,
Brandon

What do you think Politics is?

In Issues and Politics on June 5, 2006 at 12:09 pm

Brandon started a great discussion on what Black thought is recently. It is a conversation worth having for a number of reasons, not limited to questions of self-identification (e.g. am I/am I not Black?), whether everyone’s input is welcome in every conversation (e.g. Black people speaking on issues that are not “Black-specific”), etc. What this really is, in my opinion, is a question of definition: how do we define Black? How do we define Thought?

In the spirit of searching for definition, I would like to address another word/concept that individuals have raised with me: politics. Many people consider themselves “political,” while others shun that label. My question is, what do you mean when you say/use the term “politics?” Why is it that many are quick to say that they “hate politics?” Is this that they truly hate the notion, that they hate their interpretation, that they hate how it is practiced, or maybe something else?

Politics is defined in many ways. When many people think of politics, they think of government. Indeed, a definition of politics is a “set of policies relating to governmental and legal matters.” However, I suggest taking a more broad view of the concept of politics. A more flexible, descriptive definition of politics would be “the practice of responding to conflict with dialogue.” Adopting this definition frees us up to interpret life as much more political than we could before. We all experience perpetual conflict, whether minor or major. Therefore, when there is a disagreement that is addressed and resolved through words, a political action is taking place. In my view, the only difference between politics and conversation is that the goal of politics should always be observable change and/or action as a result of the dialogue. Conversation, in general, may or may not have this aim. Government is one way that can be conducted. However, we are presented with political situations all the time, every day.

With this approach, “hating politics” is effectively saying “I hate having conversations that end in changes to a situation.” When phrased in this manner, most would probably not hate politics.

A problem is that many political systems, which I’ll refer to more specifically as governmental entities, are laced with corrupt individuals. The US government’s current leadership have many examples of this. In fact, in this country, I don’t think the problem was that we had a poorly designed system, but rather that the system was designed to purposely exclude certain groups of people from many rights (e.g. the right to vote) explicitly given to white, property-owning, men. The individuals were corrupt not because they were ignorant, but because they were selfish and prejudice. If they were ignorant or stupid, then the system would not have worked so well. Instead, they were smart enough to create something that still hurts the same sets of people they seeked to disenfranchise in the first place (women, Black people, Native Americans, poor people, etc.) Since this is true, we need to differentiate between not liking “politics” and not liking corrupt politicians. Again, if we consider politics to be conversations that lead to action & change, then a corrupt politician is nothing more than a person that is motivated to speak lies during conversation. When faced with a liar, we generally will move our conversation to someone that will not lie to us. We do not reject the notion of action-oriented conversing, and I am suggesting that we similarly not flatly reject the notion of politics.

Why pose this question? Why do I not want people to “hate” politics? Well, for one, I am one of the strange one that actually enjoys the study of politics as practiced by governments and as practiced by individuals. More importantly, I want everyone, especially Black people, to not tune out any possible method of changing situations for the better. Perhaps if the connotation of politics was not one of lying rich people planning ways to increase their wealth and oppress the “have-nots,” then politics would not be something to be hated. Very few people hate conversation, especially not conversation focused on changing the status quo for the better. To me, that is what it means to be political.

In the spirit of politics as action-focused conversation, The SuperSpade is a political entity. It is about understanding issues and current events in context, while at the same time understanding how these things impact us all and how we are all connected. It is about talking about things that need to be changed. It is about talking about how we can take action change situations ourselves, through things like mentoring and voting and organizing. I encourage everyone to continue to dialogue and to grow action from these conversations.

Past Lies, Present Implications

In Issues and Politics on April 26, 2006 at 1:14 pm

This site has not dealt with the situation at Duke University concerning the Black woman who was allegedly raped by members of the Duke Lacrosse team. Our silence is broken today, courtesy of the perspective of a valued reader and guest contributor, Sakara R.

Read, Learn, Respond.


Some of us may be too young to know the name Tawana Brawley- that is, until a 27-year-old black female student from North Carolina Central University
(http://www.newsobserver.com/1185/story/429338.html) stepped forward and alleged that she was brutally assaulted by at least 3 players of the elite lacrosse team at Duke University.

For those of you who may not know who Ms. Brawley is, she too, a young (15 at the time in the 1980’s) black woman from New York City, bravely stepped forward under the protective arms of Rev. Al Sharpton and relayed a horrific account of being abducted and brutally raped by 6 white police officers culminating in her being found bruised, bloodied, covered in human feces and dumped in the garbage.

For those of us who grew up never taking the Rev seriously (he’s never been a Dr. King, or even a Jesse Jackson for most of us) – but not necessarily knowing why –Tawana Brawley is the reason why; her claims of sexual assault were nothing more than a successful albeit disturbing method of grabbing everyone’s attention. The fallout of her hoax (Tawana Brawley has never wavered from her allegations) carried long-lasting ramifications certainly even she never conceived possible at the time: the Rev lost his credibility (and never apologized), and black women everywhere were infuriated, but not just because she lied.

We were infuriated because there is an unspoken reality to the lives of black women since before our first feet on the plantation- being raped and brutalized by white men of privilege who have gotten away without so much as a slap on the wrist. That white privilege is the very reason why women of color who have experienced such terror, never speak up. It’s one thing to be held against your will, to have your clothes ripped from your body while you scream in a way that is beyond animalistic, while you are spread apart, slapped in the face, punched into silence, and raped- forced to have sex, and in some cases, perform sexual acts on the aggressor…but it is something else entirely to not be believed- or to have the rapist’s reputation, namesake, or bank account casting you into shame and somehow distorting the facts – suddenly you’re a liar. Women have taken their own lives when faced with such blatant disregard –nothing is more sacred than the sanity within our own minds, and when we’re forced (again) away from that, when the truth is torn from us, there is nothing left.

That is the very reason why many of my sister friends, the majority of whom have experienced some sort of sexual abuse/assault in their lives (you all know someone who has, and if every woman you knew who has experienced sexual abuse/assault told you, you’d be jaw dropped and in disbelief at the numbers of victims), have called saying “I hope it’s true…I hope it’s true.”

Stop and think about that for a moment. What kind of society do we sisters live in where we as women are forced to “hope” that another sister has actually been raped? Where we “hope” she was dragged like an animal to its slaughter, into a small bathroom with three crazed, drunken white men, who ripped her fingernails from her, choked her, beat her in the face, likely forced her onto the sink, raise one of her legs so far up that it dislocated her hip, rape her not once, not twice, but three times, and then assault her with a broom handle as well? We feel this way because, though Tawana Brawley lied, her lie still lives in the bodies of every woman of color sexual assaulted, and the minds of every law official who investigates such cases; they look at us and wonder “is she lying?” We “hope” its true because, right, wrong or otherwise, if it is, and if the accused are found guilty, it will be justice for countless women who never had justice themselves. Do we want someone to be a rapist, or predator? No, but we recognize, whether we like it or not that sexual predators exist and need to be identified and severely punished; too often they just are not.

Quite simply, black America is holding it’s collective breath. We don’t know what the outcome will be. Either the student accusing the Duke elite was raped, or she wasn’t; it is absolutely that uncomplicated.

What are the influences that will make it easy? Nothing will make it easy – those who are privileged, ignorant and racist (and believe one black woman represents all black women), have a Tawana Bradley to point to and say “it’s probably all a lie”. And since we as women of color are not privileged and our voice is consistently oppressed, the fact that we have a history beyond 500 years of being abused by advantaged white men is not counted as a relevant consideration.

There are people who believe that because someone like Tawana Brawley ever existed, this is all likely to be a hoax – statistics don’t show that women of color overwhelmingly lie about being sexually assaulted/abused, in order to gain attention. There is no group of women that holds such title of stereotype. Still, an internet search of Tawana Brawley’s name is linked in every way to the current Duke case, and therefore the Duke case is linked to doubt.

There is no “black leader” stepping out on the edge to stand as the protector of this new alleged victim; a 27-year-old single mother of two children attending North Carolina Central University as a sophomore. Everyone seems to have an opinion as to whether or not she made wise decisions that fateful March night, or if working as an escort, or dancer is a good idea either, some prominent white men have even called her a “ho.” But here is another little-known fact in the lives of women: she isn’t the first and won’t likely be the last to engage in those professions to pay for her higher education – black, white or otherwise.

Jesse Jackson made a brief appearance on the news as his Rainbow Push Coalition dedicated itself to providing for all of the young mother’s college expenses going forward, and obviously there has been sharp criticism. Many have said that this was just a dumb idea on Jesse’s part; that he jumped the gun, should have waited to see what the courts decide, waited until the evidence was overwhelmingly in her favor. On the other hand, Jesse Jackson is no fool. He knows about Tawana Brawley – everyone does. So with those two facts on his side, he must have good cause to make that commitment. When asked if the money would still be committed if the accused were found not guilty, Jesse said yes. Again, he was accused of being out of his mind. However, I’ve heard quite a few people who seem to think that it’s helpful – one less “motive” for lying about being raped; college is paid for.

The alleged victim in this case never asked anyone to shine the spotlight on what she says happened and in fact the news was ignorant of the matter for weeks until a reporter came across a search warrant that peaked his interest. Students at Duke, hearing early on that a rape had occurred, complained loudly to its school administration that not enough was being done, and students at NCCU didn’t even know the woman was a member of their college community (http://www.afro.com/content/templates/?a=4840&z=1).

But other than the education support, we haven’t seen Jesse or anyone else on the news every day demanding justice is served; we’ve got DA Mike Nifong (http://www.newsobserver.com/1185/story/430653.html)
handling that all by himself. And while he’s working 18 hour days combing over evidence and hoping one of the 40+ attendees at the off-campus party steps forward as an act of contrition, he’s battling what has topped out at a dozen defense attorneys who are experts at securing verdicts of “not guilty,” even “not charged,” and have at their disposal money, and most of all, privilege. While Nifong is stuck with the evidence, the defense has the manipulation of public opinion. They’ve each received hefty retainers to devote every moment of their collective days, tearing up whatever information is out about the case; a simple way of tainting any jury pool against the alleged victim.

However, witness statements (an observant next door neighbor, http://www.newsobserver.com/100/story/424229.html), a time line that places her nowhere but the house rented by the lacrosse team captains, before going to the hospital by way of the nearby Kroger food’s parking lot and most important, a medical examination and rape kit that overwhelmingly point to physical as well as sexual assault, medical professionals who attended to her (and are specifically meticulous with this kind of evaluation) describe a level of emotional trauma and shock that could not be faked even an email from a teammate sent within an hour after the party broke up expressing a desire to want to have another party the following evening where he wanted to kill strippers and slice the skin from their flesh for sexual gratification lends itself towards “something happened that night” (http://www.newsobserver.com/1185/story/425834.html), are all pieces of evidence the DA stands by.

But, no one is stepping out on the edge; rather they’re talking to friends, colleagues and others and quietly thinking, “I hope it’s true.”

To make things all the more complicated, reporter DeWayne Wickham recounted in an April 17th article, an incident three years after the Tawana Brawley case, with shockingly similar details as the alleged Duke rape, where 6 white students at St. John’s University in New York were accused of raping a black student; 5 of them were members of the University’s lacrosse team. Though one of the accused agreed to testify against the others, those charged were found not guilty because the truth of her story was held in doubt
(http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/columnist/wickham/2006-04-17-wickham_x.htm).

In a warped way, it almost doesn’t matter if the current allegations against Duke’s students is true, and powerful black Americans and common black Americans know that. When you’re up against privilege, anything is possible. It often feels like (and isn’t far from the truth if not the truth itself) the elite can be caught on camera committing anything from a misdemeanor to felony murder and still get away with it. If that is the case, then what is the truth in this matter? Will we ever know it? When the blind scale of justice finally tips, what side will rise above the other, and why? What side will we be on?

- Sakara R.

The Weekly Dream: Aint I A Woman?

In Issues and Politics, Lifestyle on April 5, 2006 at 11:02 pm

“*This Woman’s Work/This Woman’s Work/Oh, it’s hard on a man*”
-Maxwell, “This Woman’s Work”

“*Being a real woman means saying you are sorry and meaning it. It also means coming to grips with 3 fundamental facts over time: You are not perfect (twenties), you will never be perfect (thirties) and you do not have to be perfect *.”
-HD

Let’s be clear: I have a deep, enduring love and admiration for women. I truly am a fan. As a result, a large part of my life has been oriented in trying to understand what makes them tick; in hopes that I would procure a method for bridging the gap that often exists between the sexes. Often, we define ourselves through the lens of the opposite sex and their construction of what we should be. A definition by opposites so to speak. This can be good or bad, depending on what ideal is being projected. It is this formulation I am interested in. How does our sex define/influence us and how does it influence our interactions with the opposite sex? For my own part, I have been blessed to encounter some truly phenomenal women from all walks of life, and as a result, I am a better man for it.

I figured it would be a little disingenuous of me to pontificate on what it means to be a modern day woman. Therefore, I have solicited a little help. I petitioned a view individuals to write about what it means to be a woman, and how that relates to their other identities. I received some interesting responses, while with others, the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak (read: did not make the deadline). In any event, here are some very different responses. You may or may not agree, wherever you are on this issue, let your voice be heard.

My Struggle from Foreign Soil…

Needless to say, defining the above concept is a task that requires me to draw from entirely different places in my life – from the problems I face daily to the company that I keep. There is no overarching way for me to define what being a woman means, period. I can however lay out the theory to which I, as a Foreign Black Woman, vehemently subscribe that wholly describes the plight of the black women in modern American society today (Pardon my harsh cynicism in advance):

The quadrant theory puts race and gender into very distinct boxes, and works only in Black and White. I don’t know and don’t really care for the purposes of this piece where Asians, Latinas, Arabs, etc, fit into all of this, but as far as Blacks/Whites are concerned, follow me on this: The quadrant theory divides White Men, White Women, Black Men and Black Women into four sections. A ++ (positive/positive) ranking is given to the white man, a +- (positive/negative) to the white woman, a +- (positive/negative) to the black man, and a — (negative/negative) to the black woman.

Some of you may already see where this is going. White men suffer from excessive privilege (hence the ++). White women, though white, are still forced to grapple with issues of sexism. Black men, though fending off constant racial profiling, can still play the “Male” card, which leaves us with the Black woman. She brings up the rear fighting racism and sexism with both fists.

This theory entirely guides my thinking in nearly every aspect of life, from career opportunities to the advantages/disadvantages of pursuing a romantic relationship with a ++ vs. +-. Black women have had, currently do have, and will continue to bear the brunt of societal crunches and not to throw my own pity party, but that leaves little sympathy for others (Others in the quadrant, of course).

Our role as the Black Woman is that of the supporter & rarely the supported. I suppose that comes with the territory when 70% of us carry the weight of the Black Family.

I find myself with an added personal indignance because of how Foreign Black women (and men, to be fair – immigrant/1st-generation Africans, etc.), don’t seem to enter into this Black/White discourse at all. I can’t even count the number of times my ideas and viewpoints have been dismissed with a slight wave of the hand and a breezy, “Well, you’re different, you don’t count”. So now my struggle isn’t real? So my father having to find five different advisors before he could find one who really believed that a Black Man in the late 70’s could actually earn a Ph. D. is Me not counting? The white man at our church who patted my brother on the head when he came back from Eritrea, congratulating him for coming back with “nigger hair” is Me not counting? My cousin being raped and having the rapist blame it not on himself, but on the Hyper-sexualization of Black women in America, is Me not counting? Our experiences may be different but the struggle is still the same. Don’t get me wrong; I wouldn’t trade my position for the world. It has made me who I am now and will continue to shape who I am in the future. It’s true what they say: Perseverance builds character.

I could go on forever, but that, my friends, is what being a (Foreign) Black Woman means to me – Hard work, strength & determination = Under appreciation. Hey, but we all have our cross to bear right?
~RHG

Looking Back…Completeness

I never thought that being a woman or female meant limitations. I now recognize that there is a vast difference between considering oneself a woman and considering oneself a female. Being a female defines you by gender without consideration for the responsibility for the various roles that you play. Being a woman includes your gender the responsibilities inherent in it and that which you assume. I am a wife responsible for working with another individual to incorporate his perspective add value to his life and allow him to do the same for me. I was chosen for that role and willingly accepted it. It isn’t always easy and so the struggle, challenge and promises continue. I am someone’s mother. They did not ask to be born. I chose to have them and take this role as seriously if not more than my role as wife. I relish in the challenge of being my children’s advocate, friend disciplinarian, confidant and any other role that at 19 and 22, allow me. They are the best of what their dad and I are to each other. Having them transcended my gender and added a new dimension to my woman ness. I am a professional and the unique qualities that women bring to that role as wife, mother, person and evolved individual make me better at being an employee and a professional. Each of my roles is interdependent on and inextricably tied to each other to coexist. After years of trying to compartmentalize each of my roles… aspect of myself, I realize that it is only through harmonious integration that I can be a whole woman harmoniously coexisting, comfortable and confident with my me.
-Sheila A.

Waiting for Revolution…

Womanhood…what a beautiful word. I smile sorrowfully when I think about all that womanhood and a girl’s journey into it entails.

When Talib Kweli said “life is a beautiful struggle” he was right. In fact, that just about sums up how I feel about being a woman. The overt AND covert sexism that still plagues our country, and countries around the world, is often enough to make me feel burdened simply stepping out in the world every day, yet the ways women have struggled against and succeeded in the face of oppressions dating back to the beginning of humanity are feats worthy of eternal recognition and admiration.

My mother once dashed any possible prior hope that I might ever own a Barbie when she told me that I couldn’t have one because “we don’t look like that.” She additionally put me in “my womanly place” when I was 12 (the only time I can ever recall actually wanting to lose weight) when she sternly but lovingly told me that my body would probably NEVER look like the models in the magazines because our family had breasts and hips and, above all, was never a “genetically skinny family”. While I was never able to truly decode those messages until much later in life, my love, respect and infinite gratitude goes out to my mother for being an “undercover feminist” during my most formative years.

Sometimes I wish I had the public influence to move mountains. Yet despite my fury and frustration, I would NEVER chose not to be a woman, if I were somehow ever afforded the choice. A friend recently told me that “I’d make a good dude” and while my good self-esteem tells me that I’d probably make a good ANYTHING, I had to dissent. I can’t imagine not being a woman, I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through life masquerading as the “stronger sex” but being intelligent enough to know that I’m not and understanding that I sometimes benefit from society’s eternal fear of being overthrown or at least challenged by the likes of women and people of color and poor people and everyone else who our country owes SOMETHING.

Being a woman is indeed a beautiful struggle. There are so many difficult but wonderful things about being a woman, even in all its complexities. Our bodies, for example, are amazing. We can create a life and nurture it inside of us. Our minds are even more amazing, we dissect the ins and outs of life in a way that incessantly mind-boggles members of the opposite sex, We pay attention to detail, we know how to love and feel and understand, even if we sometimes use these powers manipulatively. And now that we are finally allowed to “be educated” at all, liberal arts colleges across the country are outreaching to men, as there is now an over-abundance of qualified female applicants. Even if y’all disappoint me more and more lately, I’m still so very proud ladies.

Sometimes I think our self-esteem is at the root of all our problems, but in a society that discourages our worth, I could never put the onus on us, exclusively.

I’m just waiting impatiently for women to collectively say “we aint standing for this any longer”, and doing what I can in the meantime.
-Machita

Truth and Peace,
Steven M. DeVougas

Question of the Week:

Ladies-What does it mean to be a woman?

Men-What is your perception of women and how does that affect the way you relate to them?


Garlin Gilchrist II
www.TheSuperSpade.com

Sent using Windows Mobile 5.0

The Weekly Dream: Let Us Make Man…

In Issues and Politics, Lifestyle on March 29, 2006 at 9:06 pm

“Let us make man in our own image…”
-Genesis 1:26

What does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to be a good one or a bad one? What kind of man am I becoming? These are questions I have grappled with and continue to grapple with. And at this age, it is something that looms in the mind of many young men (See Brandon White’s commentary). The rub is that we are aspiring to an ideal that has yet to be effectively defined and articulated.

In other cultures, there exist “rites of passage” ceremonies or initiations where the male is entrusted with the code for the culture and charged with protecting that code. However, in America, there is no identifiable process. Normally, it has to do with arbitrary characteristics or status (i.e. facial hair, losing virginity, etc.) This is further exacerbated by the lack of males in American households. As a result, males, especially minorities, have inherited a warped and piecemeal perception of what it means to be masculine ( e.g. the glorified role of the “thug” in hip-hop). There is a crisis of manhood in America.

I understand that gender roles and traits are influenced in large part by the society at large and its needs. I also concede that this is one of those concepts that cannot be locked in. However, I do believe that form fits function. There are some traits that we naturally exhibit, that you see in children that make us who we are. So this week, I invite everyone to comment on what is a man and how that notion formed. Next week, we will address the ladies.

My Patchwork Quilt

Growing up, I gleaned my ideal of manhood from my family. Looking at my examples, men were providers and protectors first and foremost. They sacrificed. They were strong, consistent and decisive. They were leaders and they were not careless. They never showed vulnerability or weakness. Whatever happened, you just “sucked it up.” They controlled their emotions and never cried in public. I remember my father telling me to “never let them see you sweat.” You had to always seem like you were in control and radiate that toughness. And your word was your bond.

As I entered college, still in my teens, my friends and I began to forge our own code, in relation to other men and in interacting with women. The “guy” code centered around commanding respect, knowing where your loyalties were and sticking to your principles. You did not speak about things you did not know about and you minded your own business. Your words and actions were always deliberate—thinking ahead about the consequences. This took a lot of self-discipline.

With women, things became complicated and they still are because it added yet another layer of expectations to be imposed. You couldn’t constantly assert yourself, and in relationships, you learned to pick your battles. However, a lot of men never learn how to be a man in interacting and dealing with women; that is another article.

It’s a Man’s World?

At this point, I have learned that aspiring to be your own man, counter to what is “en vogue” in society, can be a thankless job. By eschewing societal standards and the expectations of others, there is no benchmark by which to measure you by.

There comes a point where you just become comfortable in your own skin. I know my limitations and I am fine with those. I believe that is the essence of manhood: To know who you are and to be comfortable with that. Yet, we must strive to always be the best that we can be. By doing so, we can bring out the best in others. I disagree with those who might say that there is no such thing as a “good” or “bad” man. I believe in good and evil. I also believe that men and women both reflect qualities and characteristics of the Creator. So a bad man is one who does not exhibit those traits. However, if you are a bad man, you are probably a bad human being also.

End note

This is just the beginning of our exploration of our concept of gender and how it carries over into our behaviors and relationships.

As a man, all that is required is to do the best with the tools and information at hand.

Stick to the script, and eventually, someone will take notice.

Truth and Peace,
Steven M. DeVougas

Question of the Week: What does it mean to be a man? What shaped this ideal for you?

A good Black man?

In Issues and Politics on March 28, 2006 at 2:50 pm

Can someone tell me the difference between a Black man and a “good” Black man? After seeing two articles this past week talk about the plight of Black men in the New York Times and how marriage is for White people in the Washington Post, that phrase is rearing its ugly head again.

Let me begin by saying that for this post, the phrase “good Black man” will be limited to love interests of Black women. Which makes me wonder, why don’t we hear the phrase, I want “a good Black woman?” That doesn’t sound right does it? I digress, but if you are Black man/woman, I would venture to say that your answer to my original question would allude to some socioeconomic factor in some way or form.

And this is what I hate the most. You got people who are 25, who are 2 or 3 years removed from undergrad that are appalled at the idea of seriously dating/marrying a person who also does not have at least an undergraduate degree. What happened in two years that you are so all that that you couldn’t see yourself dating someone who doesn’t have a B.A.? The same goes for salaries and the list goes on. Now I’m not saying that people shouldn’t have any standards but it seems that being with a person who makes you happy is an afterthought after we sift through religion, family, age, education, income, FUTURE POTENTIAL, friends, geography, etc. You get my point.

I believe there is someone out there for everybody but the problem I see in the Black community is that too many of us are either trying to marry a clone of ourselves or we get so caught up in the idea of a “good” Black woman/man that we don’t act like ourselves when we come across one, however defined.

We have to stop buying into the notion of a good Black man because it makes the brothers who are think they are successful more arrogant and it makes the sisters feel like, “What’s the fuss?” And then you have sisters crossing over to date other races or feeling a sense of hopelessness such that they will never find a “good” Black man. Ladies, let me tell you this, the brother out there who is looking for you right now may not be a “good” Black man, but if he is good for you, THEN WHO CARES!!! Fellas, we have a host of other issues but I will get to you later. But seriously fam, the constant filtering of love via status and self is killing our future families.

In closing I will repeat my question; what is the difference between a Black man and a good Black man?

Stay up fam,
Brandon

The Black Family Movement pt. II

In Issues and Politics, Lifestyle on March 25, 2006 at 2:45 pm

Old rule: Black people cannot talk about a movement of any form until we heal our families.

Back in January, I wrote a post on the Black Family Movement and how Black people can not talk about a revolution until we heal our families. That post seemed to really strike a chord in the people that posted comments and I hope it helped those of you who did read it. And I promised I would come back with more so here it is.

SWhat bothers me profusely is the amount of generalizations Black people use to define themselves. You know what I’m talking about, “The Black family this, or Black women are that”. So what I am trying to do with the Black family movement series is to make it personal and to help your actions answer this question, “What am I doing to help heal/improve my family?” Often times, we take our family for granted and think that we are born with an innate love for them. But as with any relationships, they require sacrifice, understanding, flexibility, and communication. So please add to this list as you see fit, but make sure you are spending life energy on your family. “We all we got!!!”

1) For those of us who hold on to the anger related to an absent father (either physically or emotionally), know that that hurt is only weighing you down. Find a way to forgive them for their actions. This is not a matter of us comparing who went through the most painful childhood and this obviously will not happen over night, but it is a step in the right direction. Start walking.

2) Stop getting offended when a family member asks you about what is going on in your life. The chances are that they asking you because they care about you, not just to get in your business.

3) Have a meeting with your family to talk about building a trust fund and stop thinking that once you “make it” you are going to be able to take care of everybody.

4) Stop forgetting people’s birthdays and if you are getting a card/gift, give it to them on or before their birthday.

5) Keep track of what younger people in your family want to be when they grow up and constantly push them to challenge themselves for the better.

6) Think of all the reasons why you love the members of your family and tell them!!! What’s the point in waiting to tell them at their funeral?

7) Here’s something interesting. Start a family blog such that only members of the family can view the site and post comments.
8) Engage your family; learn about their politics, their philosophies on Black empowerment, and their thoughts on family and raising children. You would be surprised at how much you don’t know, trust me.

9) Your friends are not the only people you can have fun with. Why is it that so many people are appalled at the thought of going out with their family? (I’m talking about siblings, parents, cousins, etc.) Tear down these artificial social barriers in your life and find a way to weave family and friends into your social scene.

10) And this last point was number 10 on the first Black Family movement post but it bears repeating; the best reason is just because. This relates to everything.

And if you haven’t noticed, I end every post with “Stay up fam,” because we are all family. I don’t care how much of our bloodline we have in common because we all come from a great people whose sacrifices, love, and hard work made it possible for us to be here today.

Carpe diem,

Stay up fam,

Brandon

Is the Black Man in America doomed?

In Issues and Politics on March 24, 2006 at 2:31 pm

The NY Times says that Princeton, Harvard, and Columbia say that we are close. In “Plight Deepens for Black Men, Studies Warn,” Erik Eckholm goes over many statistics that show how the un/undereducated Black man is the rule and not the exception, and how that is leading them down a path from which recovery may prove difficult.

(Random thought: Before digging into this topic, I’d like to first note the irony in Princeton, Harvard, and Columbia doing studies about Black men. Princeton has 8.2% Black students, Harvard has 8% Black students, and Columbia has 5.3% Black students. I just find it interesting when I hear/read authoritative on Black people written by non-Black people. Now, I am in no way saying that the message is worthless because of the messenger, but I am saying that it is in some ways disheartening. I digress…)

With that said, the story and the studies it references raises some important facts. I applaud the approaches to measuring joblessness that include the incarcerated as well as those not looking for legal work. Though it is an interesting theory, I do not agree with the implication that child support law enforcement have contributed to joblessness.

There are some concrete steps that I see that can be taken to address this rampant joblessness.

The first set is psychological. For starters, many associate unemployment with vagrancy. I believe that in many cases it is a myth. Vagrancy, laziness, triflingness, whatever you want to call it does occur, but I think that’s less common than it is perceived. Evidence for this can be seen in the fact that many individuals who are not seeking work are “working” illegal occupations; you can’t be lazy and stay out of jail. The second psychological step is to remove the stigma of the man or woman who has come home from prison. What is tripped out is how many people show a lot of “love” to people when they get out of jail (remember Chris Rock saying people got more love coming out of jail than coming home from college), but they don’t get a lot of love from business owners (including Black business owners) when they are looking for legitimate work. This is part of the reason why people who come home are so likely to commit and be caught in the midst of illegal activity within 6 months of their release and end up right back in corrections system. What needs to happen here: People need to have positive attitudes towards their people. Do not confuse a positive attitude with stupidity, but instead confuse it with educated optimism. There is nothing wrong with giving someone a conditional hire. Do not confuse conditional with opportunity to humiliate. People are amazing in the sense that they will excel when people show faith in them. The article quotes a brother who says he and his peers suffer from a “general state of hopelessness.” Hopelessness is overcome by having faith in yourself and others having faith in you. Think about it, when was the last time you felt like you could do something when people were constantly putting you down saying you “never did it before” or that you were “incapable” of doing it? We need to invest psychologically in our brethren.

Secondly, there are opportunities to educate outside of traditional school. Ideally, everyone would matriculate through elementary, middle, high school, undergrad, grad, doctorate, post-doc, etc. In cases where that has not happened, that does not mean that education should not be an option. What can be done here: Maybe we can encourage young men/women to seek opportunities that they feel are more practical. What I mean by that is this: usually people leave school because they do not see immediate benefit. I more than anyone wish to eradicate instant gratification ideology from the world, but in the mean time, I feel like we can use it to demonstrate both immediate and future benefits gained from education. For example, why not identify trades/talents that students have in say, 8th grade. In their high school (9th thru 12th grade years), why not provide access to training in their fields of interest (e.g. web design, auto repair, cosmetolgoy, medical assistant, whatever)? Why not provide access to the training and tie performance in “regular” school together with the vocational training? Meaning, we should reward high performance in the vocational education equally. That way, there is recognition (who doesn’t like that?) for those that excel in economics and those who excel in electrician training. We should embrace Adult Education and Professional Certification programs. If/when people demonstrate hunger and willingness to work, then they deserve to have a chance taken on them (see above).

Re-entry. The article calls out programs that focus on prison re-entry. The same attention needs to be paid to juvenile re-entry. Programs like Detroit’s Partners for Success are great examples of taking a proactive approach to confronting the issues the will be present in the lives of young men/women when they leave the system. We talk a lot about this on the site, and some of the posts on the subject can be read here. Keys to successful re-entry are showing confidence and providing opportunities.

Those sound a lot like the keys to life in general.

Black folks and the gym (or lack thereof)

In Issues and Politics on March 13, 2006 at 10:20 am

Exercise, along with eating healthy food are two fundamental practices that lead to healthy lifestyles. I am willing to bet that on a whole that Black folk could be doing a lot more to improve our diet. Of course, part of this is problem is due to not having access to grocery stores like Whole Foods but this post is about the lack of people I see at the gym. Ladies first…

If I had a dime for every time I saw a Black woman at the gym, I wouldn’t have enough money to get a meal from the Mc Donald’s Dollar Menu. Of course, just because I haven’t observed something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist but let’s keep it real, Black women on the whole just don’t like the gym. But there has to be something deeper than Black women wanting to maintain their hair because I know Black women who have perms and still keep a regular workout schedule. I often hear that Black women don’t like men looking at them and would prefer to workout by themselves. But this can be by-passed by going to gyms that have gender-specific days so that you don’t have to worry about impressing members of the opposite sex.

And while I applaud Black women who prefer to workout using exercise DVDs, it is too easy to cheat yourself by just turning off the tape. More importantly, many gyms have equipment that focus on specific areas of the body.

In essence, I am very worried that because Black women don’t feel comfortable going to the gym, their health will invariably suffer as a result. So how can we get more Black women (and women of color) excited about exercising and joining the gym?

Don’t worry fellas, you are not off the hook because even though we will take time to play basketball and occasionally lift weights, we eat like crap. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen guys work out and then pig out on pizza or fast-food. Then these same guys wonder why they can bench press 275lb but have a beer belly. And how can you smoke and try to force yourself to play eight games of basketball? Nevertheless, the main reason men workout is to try to impress women but we have to get to a point where our inspiration for exercising is not solely dependent on women.

It’s all about balance and exercising is an important aspect for gaining a certain measure of inner-peace. But I’d like to know what inspired you to maintain a healthy lifestyle and how have you tried to inspire others?

Stay up fam,

Brandon

The Right to be a Deadbeat

In Issues and Politics on March 9, 2006 at 6:33 pm

There is an interesting but upsetting debate that has been rekindled in America this week. I will refer to it as “Father’s Rights.” The National Center for Men are arguing that child support laws victimize men in cases of unintended pregnancy. I guess Deadbeat Dadhood just got a new freshman class.As a purely intellectual exercise, the concept of “equal” decision-making power in the event of unintended pregnancy is actually interesting. On the surface, men are 100% powerless in the decision to have a baby once conception has occurred. Let’s compare:

What a woman may choose:
Have the child
Abort the child
Raise the child after birth (alone or with the father)
Seek adoption for the child after birth
Abandon the child after birth

What a man may choose:
Raise the child after birth (with or separate from the mother)
Abandon the child after birth

Looking at sheer numbers, the women definitely have more options.

Often in the case of unintended pregnancy, men start counting nickels as well. They may often fiscally abandon both the child and the mother because they do not want the baby. I guess the argument here is that this is “unfair” since if the mother didn’t want the baby, she could have an abortion and it would be a “done deal.” This is a blatantly irresponsible and immature view that completely disregards the proven and documented adverse health effects of abortions. But aside from that, the reason that child support laws are on the books is to [at least attempt to] lessen the negative financial effects of a failed parental relationship on their child. What that means is that when a parent defaults on child support, they default on the child. THAT’S WHY IT’S CALLED CHILD SUPPORT!!!!

The problem with the arguments of the National Center for Men is that it’s goal is to punish women because they have more choices. This is simply asinine. In a blind and irresponsible reactionary fury to a feeling of powerlessness at the time of being made aware of an unintended pregnancy, these dudes decided to fight for the right to make a their own kid(s) suffer. Wow

Maybe they don’t see it that way. Maybe their motivation is, “I give her child support money and she spends it on everything but our child.” Well, there are two options to avoid the aforementioned scenario:

1. Stay together and [at least attempt to] maintain a functional relationship
In this scenario, the money is both of you all’s anyway, so where it goes is more transparent. In no way am I implying that the only drive to attempt to make a mother-father relationship flourish is money. I actually think quite the opposite, believing that trust and understanding can form foundations that will overcome monetary challenges. I simply present this as an option for those who don’t want their money “wasted.”

2. Think before you smash
The person who made the decision to get on the trifling’ female was…you.

So what is my conclusion? Don’t drink the careless. Let’s not look for excuses to abandon reasonable responsibilities that so many already disregard. We need a re-definition of black fatherhood, or fatherhood period. Nowhere in that definition should there exist a man who is jealous of his woman’s “abundance of options.”

“Men cannot afford to be careless.”
- Vito Corleone

Personal upkeep/hygiene help for the fellas

In Issues and Politics on February 20, 2006 at 2:15 pm

What’s up fam, I was talking to a nephew of mine about hygiene and he is pretty much on point. But a lot of us are not holding it down in this department. And hygiene is bigger than looking right for the ladies because it also major affects as you traverse the workplace. So whether you are Scruff McGruff or consider yourself metrosexual, please look over this list and add comments as you see fit. And ladies please, help us out if you have any suggestions.

Fellas, we are too old to be having boo boo stains in our underwear. And if the only time your butt feels clean is when get out the shower, you have a problem. But it’s OK. Get some wet wipes and keep some on you and keep a pack at the house. And think about how much little time you spend wiping your butt. Sorry fellas, I had to take it there.

Black belt = Black shoes and Brown belt = Brown shoes. And matching socks never hurt anybody either.

I know you have heard the ladies talk about how much they love LL Cool J’s lips right? You are not him. Stop licking your lips all the time and get some Chapstick, Burt’s Bees Wax, Carmex, or something. When you lick your lips all the time trying to be cool or what not (especially if its cold), they are more susceptible to getting chapped and that is unacceptable. Period. This advice will help you from looking like a crack head and it will help the ladies know you take care of yourself.

Clip your hang nail. Just glance at your hands right now. If you have hang nail that is growing sideways, clip it off. And if you keep a small nail clipper on you, you won’t have to wait until you get home to take care of your situation

Just because you don’t stains in your jeans, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wash them. Keep it real, when was the last time you either washed/dry-cleaned your jeans? My point exactly.

Women still pay attention to your shoes, so keep them looking decent. By decent, I don’t the most expensive, but if you bought white gym shoes and they look like you have been playing in the mud, it’s time for some new ones. And as for dress shoes, try to keep them shined up. You should either take them to the shoe shine parlor if you can and if you can’t do that, keep a little shoe shine kit at the house. (this kit usually includes shoe polish (brown or black), a brush, and a shine rag)

Assuming you wash your hands after you use the bathroom, then you know your hands end up looking ashy when you’re done. So keep a small bottle of lotion so the ladies don’t think you don’t use lotion.

Just because you have a close cut doesn’t mean you don’t need to wash your hair/scalp.

Learn how to blouse your dress shirts such that after you lift your arms, you are not looking sloppy.

There is nothing wrong with investing in nice cologne but know that you should pay attention to the type of soap you are using because every product you use (i.e. soap, aftershave, hair grease, etc.) work together to produce the scent that people ultimately smell. So be careful and if you are not sure, ask a woman who won’t lie to you.

Stay up fam,

Brandon

Hampton Waves Goodbye to the ‘Corporate Thug’

In Issues and Politics on February 13, 2006 at 6:21 pm

Hampton University has officially banned cornrows and dreadlocks for their Business School students. I know that Black people in general are pretty conservative, but as I would like to think that conservative does not equal dumb [in most cases]. Unfortunately, this might be such a case.

I’m sure there are plenty of people that think this is no big deal. They think that this is simply readying these students for the future realities of corporate citizenry in this country. They say that such styles are immature and make you look less intelligent and/or presentable to your potential employers. The story states Business School Dean Sid Credle’s (pictured here) motivation: “When we look at the top 75 African Americans in corporate America, we don’t see any of them with extreme hairdos.” Pardon me, but what is an extreme hairdo?!?!?!?! Who defines that? Black people? White people? Rich people? Poor people? Employers? I guess this guy would have thought that Madame C.J. Walker’s improvements to the metal straightening comb were bad because at that time “straight” hair was an extreme hairdo for black women.

You know where their notion of an extreme hairdo comes from? It is the result of staring at today through the lens of the supremacist, “Good Ol’ Boys” network that dominates american corporate culture. I am led to believe that because of the following statement from the article:


“Afros are OK but cornrows and flowing dreadlocks are not…’We don’t have problems with Afros,’ business Dean Sid Credle said Friday. ‘A nicely tapered Afro – that’s fine.’”

I’m not that old, but I’m sure there was a time not-so-long ago when the “nicely tapered Afro” was considered extreme. What is different from yesterday’s afro and today’s cornrow? Why is this formerly extreme hairdo now mainstream? Because white people think it’s cool. Period. Why do they think it’s cool? We will save that question for another day. Anyone who knows anything about hair knows that a caesar with a bad line up looks 1 billion times worse than newly braided cornrows. So why doesn’t the Hampton B School just take a look at EVERYBODY’S hair when they enter the building, and give them the go or no-go. It would go something like “If you don’t have waves homeboy, go get a brush before entering my school,” or “I’m sorry ma’am but you perm has not made your hair straight enough.” What’s their policy on facial hair I wonder? That wasn’t all that acceptable a short while a go in contemporary corporate america either, but I digress.

What kills me about these sorts of stupid policies are their selective nature. There have been lawsuits filed against other educational institutions for similar policies. I know that somebody in the Dean’s Office had to have known that there was some precedence with these sorts of policies. So either they disregarded that knowledge, or they felt that their policy was different. Maybe it was “different” because this is a policy at an HBCU. You know the theory: it’s not racist or culturally insensitive or prejudiced if it is done/said by a Black person or institution.

Maybe I wouldn’t have a problem with this policy if [it actually made sense, or if] the B School at Hampton took a multi-pronged approach to addressing the problem it is trying to “solve.” In addition to suggesting non-extreme hairstyles why not educate their corporate partners on what is and is not extreme and begin to change their ignorant perspective? I guess this can’t happen because the administration is too afraid of biting the hands that feed them.

Hmmmm…

That sounds familiar…Black folks not speaking up because they are afraid of being reprimanded, rejected, or punished…I think that that is an image we need to try to destroy and not repeat.

New ‘Apprentice’ winner Randall Pinkett

In Issues and Politics on December 16, 2005 at 10:19 am

If you haven’t heard, Randall Pinkett, 34, beat out 17 other contestants to become Donald Trump’s Apprentice. Randall has five degress from among Rutgers, Oxford, and MIT. He has created five companies and is by most people’s accounts, extremely successful with a lot more potential. And he’s Black.

And that is why I wanted to comment on the racial overtones of the season finale and the implications of Trump’s decision. I went to Black America Web to read their analysis of what happened. For starters, I was dismayed at the opening line which read, “In besting fellow finalist Rebecca Jarvis, Pinkett puts to rest the question many have asked since the show’s premier season: Would Trump ever “hire” a black apprentice?” What upset me about this comment was that for someone who doesn’t even watch the show, I knew that Randall was going to win several weeks ago, just based on his background and his performance in the tasks given to him (perfect record as a project manager and won the final mission). I think many people knew that Donald Trump had no choice but to choose Randall as the winner and I believe that many wealthy individuals like Mr. Trump don’t give a care about your skin color IF they know that based on your track record, you will help increase profits. And for my Black people, we as individuals and as a collective destroy this notion of being chosen.

Just think back to Paul Robeson (a true Superspade and alum of Rutgers like Randall, how ironic) was Phi Beta Kappa, senior honor society member and valedictorian of his senior class. Rutgers University had no choice but to make him a Phi Beta Kappa and valedictorian. And my point is that when you strive for and achieve excellence, the only person who can “choose” your destiny is you. Now keep this in perspective, Randall already has five businesses whose revenue is about to explode due to his exposure on the Apprentice so in laymen’s terms, Trump didn’t choose Randall, Randall chose Trump.

In related news, the finale was underwhelming because after hiring Randall, Trump asked Randall if he thought that he should hire Rebecca, (his opponent) as well. Randall quipped, “Mr. Trump, I firmly believe that this is ‘The Apprentice,’ that there is one and only one apprentice, and if you’re going to hire someone tonight, it should be one. “It’s not ‘The Apprenti,’ it’s ‘The Apprentice.’” The MSNBC article I read painted Randall in a horrible light by saying the “audience booed, feeling as betrayed as Rebecca must have, and as Randal jogged to the end of the stage to wave at the crowd, he was facing a group that had lost some of their respect for him; their clapping and cheering was subdued, and boos were still audible.” I should point out that Rebecca is White but aside from that, put yourself in Randall’s shoes, who loves ties? Imagine the World Series where the Red Sox and the Yankees duel to the seventh and final game, and the Yankees win by one point. Then the commissioner comes out and asks the Yankee team, “Do you guys want to split the pennant with the Red Sox?” There would be riots everywhere but the fact is, that is not fair to the team that won. And the same logic holds true for Randall Pinkett. And I readily admit that because Trump had no choice, he had to find some way to spice up the season finale’ but this was not the most clever thing he or his producers could have come up with.

Nevertheless, Randall Pinkett represents neither all or none of Black America. And he is not an anomaly. There is a sizable amount of Black men and women who have reached similar heights of success in all factors of our society. Superspades are everywhere and it is too bad that America has to wait until some television show to help break down racial stereotypes. Maybe they should start reading our blog.

Stay up fam,

Brandon

Men Encouraging Health Awareness

In Issues and Politics on December 14, 2005 at 5:43 pm

NPR had a story on the 100 Black Men of Atlanta who did a project to raise health awarness in their community. It is a good project, with the most interesting piece of it, in my opinion, being the PR campaign. They are raising awareness by having prominent black men go to various places and speak on their positive experiences of getting diagnosed and being treated for their various conditions (high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc.). The goal is that these respected me will inspire both men and women to be more conscious about their health.

I’m not saying this is a new tactic or concept, but I do think it can work and is worth a try.

…and they say any group comprised of of black men is a bad thing…

Black men and our sexuality

In Issues and Politics on December 14, 2005 at 3:49 pm

I read a fiercely stereotypical article by a White woman who explained why she prefers to be with Black men. After over sexualizing us like mandingo warriors, I was appalled by how comfortable this woman felt in her sexual encounters with Black men. But then I remembered a situation where a White man asked me what shoe size I wore. I said 13 and he replied, “Oh my God, that is crazy,” replete with sexual overtones. Now his feet were as big as mine, and he wore a size 12 and when I pointed out that our feet are almost the same size, he just couldn’t let up. “No man, your feet are humongous!! I have tried to find ways to not get offended but this situation was difficult because surely he didn’t mean to insult me, but when my sexuality becomes the basis on which you interact with me, I have a major problem with that.

Because what happens to many Black men is that many of us buy into the notions of Black male super sexuality to the point we become afraid of how our desires will overtake our sense of normalcy. So many times one of two things happen; we will suppress our sexuality or express it in overly chauvinistic ways. No matter the case, this will not lead to healthy relationships or marriages and will ultimately hinder other aspects of our lives. So my advice to Black men is simple, watch what you put into your soul and mind. You can’t watch Uncut everyday it comes on and claim that the videos don’t have an affect on how you interact with women. It doesn’t work like that. And secondly, do not give in to the stereotypes we are superior in bed compared to other races. Not only might this affect your performance but more importantly, your sexuality will soon become a central part of your identity and confidence.

White men love sex just as much as Black men. There are men of all races who would put you to shame and there are men of all races who you would put to shame. And lastly, learn to control your thoughts (in all matters) of sexual matters. If whenever you talk to a woman and all you can focus on during a conversation is the curvatures of her body, then you have a problem. Seek help. I used to have a problem with pornography but after talking to God and some of my friends, I realized it had a hold of me that I didn’t want to admit. But once I did admit it, I decided that I didn’t want anything having such a hold on my life and since then, I have made decisions that severely limit my access to pornography. And since then, I appreciate women and their beauty for so many things that have nothing to do with my physical attraction.

I just realized I meant to write about Black/White relationships but I went off on a tangent. Real talk is like that sometimes. Until next time,

Stay up fam,

Brandon

Community [Dis]Service

In Issues and Politics on November 20, 2005 at 9:28 am

This morning I volunteered at the Urban League of Metropolitan Seattle (ULMS), cleaning, organizing, and folding clothing donations that had been received. They are intended to be consumed by the over 4000 Katrina survivors now located in Washington state. This experience was a positive one. All of the volunteers were on time, on task, and efficient at completing the goals set for us. I was, however, reminded of two things that bother me about how some serve, or disserve, others.

The first thing has to do with what people gave. Before we started, the young lady who was our coordinator said “if you wouldn’t wear it, we will dispose of it. We we’re giving dignified items, not throwsways.” That seemed obvious enough, but not to all of the donors I guess. Why in the world would you donate used underwear? It at least could be clean, but even that was too much to ask of some. I use this example to represent many people’s approach to service and giving in general. Why do we only give “table scraps?” Is that what we would want? Some say beggars can’t be choosers. I say beggars CAN have dignity. Why do we not give of our best? Why do we only volunteer “throw away” time? Why are those blessed financially so reluctant to give? Anyone who has ever been to a Black Baptist church knows that the pastor has to almost beg for offerings. What’s ironic is the same folks who are so turned off by this may be the same ones who end up spending money on things they don’t ne!
ed. MAYBE those resources could better serve someone who needs them as opposed to your own selfish indulgences?

The second issue is the lack of male participation. It’s pretty disgusting that I was the only male volunteering this day. I have seen this phenomenon since I became active as a youth. In church, there were always more girls participating in the activities. In school, there were always more girls on the honor roll. In college, there were always more girls running organizations and being active in the community? Why is this? Are women more unselfish than men? More caring? Maybe. That is not the problem. The problem is that for whatever reason, men are not compelled to do these things. So you end up with what I saw at the Urban League: me and 14 girls. You explain that ratio to many men, and they’ll say, “what are you complaining about?” maybe I am strange because I notice a void where others see easy access to women. I’ll be that. We must understand that it takes men AND women to help men AND women. Prime example of what more men could have contributed to this specific projec!
t: lifting. It may be a gross generalization to say that men can lift more than women, but it was certainly true on this day. So all of that work went to me. Let’s just say that some extra hands would have been nice.

These things are not said out of contempt. They are observations of a servant who wishes to improve service. To solve problem 1, organizations should stop the policy of accepting anything and be clear on what they will and will not accept upfront. As for problem 2, that can be solved one man at a time. Male volunteers should adopt the buddy system: never volunteer alone. If everyone did that, we would see exponential growth in participation. This is my approach from now on.

One Love. One II.

Categories:
communityservice
blackmen

Charity & The Complainer

In Issues and Politics on November 18, 2005 at 5:47 pm

Last night I went to a benefit tennis match featuring Venus and Serena Williams here in Seattle. They played at Key Arena, home of the Seattle SuperSonics and Storm basketball franchises. They played at 7.30 PM to a 3/4 packed house. The crowd was typical of Seattle, all types and colors of individuals came to support, and there were a lot of kids there to enjoy the evening. The cause was the Ronald McDonald House, to which 100% of the ticket sales & concessions went. The evening began with the national anthem by Jon Secada followed by four of his own songs. THAT WAS TERRIBLE. He was followed by a saxaphonist whose claim to fame was he was the first artists signed to Michael Jordan’s recording label. Who knew Michael Jordan had a record label?!?!?! He was OK. Finally, the tennis began. The match was fun, Serena won in straight sets 6-4, 6-4. Venus appeard to have more fun than Serena, though she lost. They both began sluggishly, but the competition got real once they both decided they didn’t want the other one to win.

I bring this event up for a few reasons. First, I was happy to see two of the best tennis players in the world. I’m happy that two of the best tennis players in the world are black women. More importantly, I like seeing professionals involved in community focused activities that leverage their God-given talents. Notice the ommission in the previous sentence; it’s not a typo. Professionals need to be involved in community focused activities. We hear/see/participate in all to often the practice of what we think another individual should be doing. Service work is no different. The same people that spend time not giving of their time complain about celebrities who do the same. The same people who do not donate money to legitimate causes balk at celebrities who don’t give money, or more commonly enough money to suit their tastes. Currently, I am reading “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen (which will be covered in detail as the first book in the coming SuperSpade Books seriese, so stay tuned), and that book drives home the notion of what my friend and mentor G. Harden refers to as “self-defeating attitudes and behaviors.” Individuals who subscribed to the previously stated judgemental notions from their armchair of hypocrisy must understand that it is that spiteful and vagrant mentality that produces individuals who don’t “give enough.”

Examples and applications of this are quite clear. One of these individuals who is doing this complaining let’s say, may have children. Children are great at many things, but they are perhaps best at imitating their maternal and fraternal educators known as mom and dad. As a result, children often have frightening similarities to those that bore them. One of those similarties that gets passed on is often what we have described above: talking about what another individual does or does not do while at the same time remaining idle. It is this attitude of self-perpetuating slothfulness that [in part] contributes to problems that people bring upon themselves. If I complain about something long enough, that’s what I get. People think that it works in the opposite direction, but I don’t believe so. If you complain about people not giving, they are not then inclined to give. Guilt is one of the worst motivators available in our arsenals of persuassion, yet it is one that we readily employ. When was the last time someone tried to guilt you into something? How did it make you feel? Did it compel you to act, or did it strike up feelings of resentment? This works on many levels. I believe my friend and brother Malcolm X, who was in support of reparations (see quote here at the bottom of the page), was not in favor of idle question asking.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. The law does not say that for every complaint, there is a response in favor of the complainer. Think about that the next time someone else is not doing “enough” by your standards. Are you?

Adoption and the lack thereof

In Issues and Politics on November 16, 2005 at 12:17 pm

So on NPR today, I listened to Ed Gordon talk about adoption within the Black Community. Ed was joined by Antoinette Williams, assistant director of domestic adoption for Spence-Chapin Services, and Lisha Epperson, mother of two children she adopted through Spence-Chapin. As I listened, I was reminded of the movie Antwone Fisher, and how the main character described the plights of young Black children as they struggle to find families that want to adopt them. That movie really made me really think about adoption in a new light.

The panel went on to discuss that Black families will adopt our kin (i.e. our sibling’s children) out of obligation but are reluctant to take in kids outside of the family. Immediately, I thought about how Black slaves were separated from their families and forced to work on various plantations. And when new people arrived or left, the sense of family was so strong, regardless of where you were from and who you left behind. How Black people managed to make it through slavery is a constant source of pride, which makes me upset that more of us don’t adopt Black children. I mean let’s keep it real. Most people who adopt are more often than not going to adopt a child of their same race. Therefore, if we don’t adopt our children, who will?

My hope and prayer is that people will become more open to the idea of adopting because as Lisha Epperson put it, the kids she adopted were the “best thing that ever happened to her.” That’s funny because most women who bear their own children say the exact same thing. So what is there to lose by adopting? Your kids won’t look like you? It might be better if you don’t have kids playa! But seriously, when you have those mythical conversations with your mate or family about how many kids you want to have, think about adoption in a new light because you would be getting a beautiful boy or girl whose life will be a constant blessing in ways you didn’t think possible. Unfortunately, the fact is that most people will say, “hey man, that is cool for other people, but not for me, I need my own kid.” That type of thinking did help us make it through slavery and that same mentality will cripple our future as we deny the precious lives of foster children a loving home filled with the values that we dream about passing to our “real” children. OUR children can’t wait for tomorrow. They need us today.

Stay up fam,