Merry [War on] Christmas

Merry Christmas from The SuperSpade.

It is terrible when people are involved in conflict(s) during the holidays. This is true in both personal (i.e. arguing couples) and political (i.e. warring nations) relationships. And the more conflict, the more difficult the season. Some would lead you to believe that the U.S. is involved in not one, but two wars this holiday: the “War on Terror,” and the “War on Christmas.” Let’s explain these wars are as real as Santa Claus.
I think the stance of this blog with respect to the “War on Terror” is quite clear, so time this holiday will not be spent beating that dead animal. However, the “War on Christmas” is much more interesting.

In the “War on Terror,” we are “fighting” our “terrorist enemies.” Who is the enemy in the “War on Christmas?” If we break it down the same way we do the “War on Terror,” then that means that the “enemy” is people who celebrate Christmas??? I think I have it backwards. FoxNews and Bill O’Reilly’s “War on Christmas” is against those who don’t celebrate Christmas (think “War on Terror,” in reverse). They are disgusted that Wal-Mart greeters say “Happy Holidays.” That means that Wal-Mart is part of the army against Christmas.

Who cares what someone at Wal-Mart, or any store, or anyplace else says to you during this season? I’m Black, but I’m not going to turn my nose up and be offended if someone does not say Happy Kwanzaa to me. I’m not Jewish, but I’m not going to turn my nose up and be offended if someone says Happy Hanukkah to me. I am Christian, but I’m not going to turn my nose up and be offended if someone says Happy Holidays to me.

The problem with O’Reilly and The Fundies is that they equate being religious with being stupid and ignorant. It’s stupid to get offended because someone wishes you well during the latter part of the year. It’s ignorant to pretend like everyone celebrates Christmas. What is even more stupid, ignorant, and hypocritical is that I suspect these individuals are not against what Christmas has essentially become: a month-long shopping spree culminating in a feast. Fundies who study the Word closely and want to follow it exactly (which is what Fundamentalism is by definition) would have more to argue on if they said that Christmas has been corrupted from it’s original intent: to celebrate the Birth of Christ. I guess they can’t say that, since the same corporate cronies commercializing Christmas are paying the bills at Fox News and at most mega churches in this country. I suggest that they stop acting like fundamentalists and actually be them. Don’t go to the mall and buy crap for people you pretend you love. Don’t put [pagan] blown glass ornaments on your [pagan] Christmas trees and overeat. Get all the animals together and sit in the barn burning candles and myrrh. That would be a “real” Christmas. That would be victory. That would be “Mission Accomplished” in the “War on Christmas.” But that obviously can’t happen. So instead, let’s make Jesus the underdog in the war on Christmas. He needs us to cheer for Him, or we may lose the “War on Christmas.” Maybe Jesus is an underdog in The Holy Bible: Fundie Edition. In my translation, that ain’t the case.

Let’s just say that everyone immediately stopped saying “Merry Christmas.” What would be the problem? Would there be no Christmas? Is the existence of the holiday dependent upon these two words? Would Christ’s birth be retroactively edited out of history? I think the answer to all of these questions is NO!!!

I pose these questions as ammunition for anyone who is confronted by Christmas Warmongers. Ask them exactly what victory looks like in this “war.” Ask them what defeat looks like in this “war.” When they are not able to answer, tell the the following:

Happy Holidays from The SuperSpade.


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About Garlin Gilchrist II

I am the City of Detroit's first ever Deputy Technology Director for Civic Community Engagement. My job is to open up the city's public data and information for the consumption and benefit of all Detroiters. I currently live in Detroit, my hometown, with my beautiful wife Ellen and our twins Garlin III and Emily Grace. I'm from Detroit. I created Detroit Diaspora, and was formerly the National Campaign Director at I also co-hosted The #WinReport on "The Good Fight," a an award winning, nationally syndicated radio show that was one of Apple's Best of 2013. After graduating with degrees in Computer Engineering and Computer Science from the University of Michigan, I became a Software Engineer at Microsoft. By day, I helped build SharePoint into the fastest growth product in the company's history. On my personal time, I sought out opportunities to connect my technical skills with community building efforts across the country. This led to my co-founding The SuperSpade: Black Thought at the Highest Level, a leading Black political blog. I served as Social Media Manager for the 2008 Obama campaign in Washington, and then became Director of New Media at the Center for Community Change. I spent two years creating and implementing a strategy for the Center to take it's 40 years of community organizing experience into the digital age. I speak before diverse audiences on effective & responsive government, empowerment in revolutionary new organizing spaces, increasing civic engagement & participation through emerging technologies and protecting civil rights in the age of the Internet. Full bio here.

2 responses to “Merry [War on] Christmas”

  1. Yolanda says :

    Unfortunately I haven’t had an opportunity to visit the site lately. So, it was definitely a pleasant surprise to return and read such a profound post. You most certainly have a faithful SuperSpade blogger from this point forward.

    Continue to enjoy your holiday SuperSpade.

  2. W. T. Stambaugh says :

    Excellent work. You are totally right, of course. The “fundamentalists” broke with the fundamentals a long time ago when they decided to support Christmas as we know it.

    New on

    Christmas Wars 3: The Finale

    Accept that there is no war on Christmas.

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