The Black Family Movement pt. II
Old rule: Black people cannot talk about a movement of any form until we heal our families.
Back in January, I wrote a post on the Black Family Movement and how Black people can not talk about a revolution until we heal our families. That post seemed to really strike a chord in the people that posted comments and I hope it helped those of you who did read it. And I promised I would come back with more so here it is.
SWhat bothers me profusely is the amount of generalizations Black people use to define themselves. You know what I’m talking about, “The Black family this, or Black women are that”. So what I am trying to do with the Black family movement series is to make it personal and to help your actions answer this question, “What am I doing to help heal/improve my family?” Often times, we take our family for granted and think that we are born with an innate love for them. But as with any relationships, they require sacrifice, understanding, flexibility, and communication. So please add to this list as you see fit, but make sure you are spending life energy on your family. “We all we got!!!”
1) For those of us who hold on to the anger related to an absent father (either physically or emotionally), know that that hurt is only weighing you down. Find a way to forgive them for their actions. This is not a matter of us comparing who went through the most painful childhood and this obviously will not happen over night, but it is a step in the right direction. Start walking.
2) Stop getting offended when a family member asks you about what is going on in your life. The chances are that they asking you because they care about you, not just to get in your business.
3) Have a meeting with your family to talk about building a trust fund and stop thinking that once you “make it” you are going to be able to take care of everybody.
4) Stop forgetting people’s birthdays and if you are getting a card/gift, give it to them on or before their birthday.
5) Keep track of what younger people in your family want to be when they grow up and constantly push them to challenge themselves for the better.
6) Think of all the reasons why you love the members of your family and tell them!!! What’s the point in waiting to tell them at their funeral?
7) Here’s something interesting. Start a family blog such that only members of the family can view the site and post comments.
8) Engage your family; learn about their politics, their philosophies on Black empowerment, and their thoughts on family and raising children. You would be surprised at how much you don’t know, trust me.
9) Your friends are not the only people you can have fun with. Why is it that so many people are appalled at the thought of going out with their family? (I’m talking about siblings, parents, cousins, etc.) Tear down these artificial social barriers in your life and find a way to weave family and friends into your social scene.
10) And this last point was number 10 on the first Black Family movement post but it bears repeating; the best reason is just because. This relates to everything.
And if you haven’t noticed, I end every post with “Stay up fam,” because we are all family. I don’t care how much of our bloodline we have in common because we all come from a great people whose sacrifices, love, and hard work made it possible for us to be here today.
Stay up fam,