A good Black man?
Can someone tell me the difference between a Black man and a “good” Black man? After seeing two articles this past week talk about the plight of Black men in the New York Times and how marriage is for White people in the Washington Post, that phrase is rearing its ugly head again.
Let me begin by saying that for this post, the phrase “good Black man” will be limited to love interests of Black women. Which makes me wonder, why don’t we hear the phrase, I want “a good Black woman?” That doesn’t sound right does it? I digress, but if you are Black man/woman, I would venture to say that your answer to my original question would allude to some socioeconomic factor in some way or form.
And this is what I hate the most. You got people who are 25, who are 2 or 3 years removed from undergrad that are appalled at the idea of seriously dating/marrying a person who also does not have at least an undergraduate degree. What happened in two years that you are so all that that you couldn’t see yourself dating someone who doesn’t have a B.A.? The same goes for salaries and the list goes on. Now I’m not saying that people shouldn’t have any standards but it seems that being with a person who makes you happy is an afterthought after we sift through religion, family, age, education, income, FUTURE POTENTIAL, friends, geography, etc. You get my point.
I believe there is someone out there for everybody but the problem I see in the Black community is that too many of us are either trying to marry a clone of ourselves or we get so caught up in the idea of a “good” Black woman/man that we don’t act like ourselves when we come across one, however defined.
We have to stop buying into the notion of a good Black man because it makes the brothers who are think they are successful more arrogant and it makes the sisters feel like, “What’s the fuss?” And then you have sisters crossing over to date other races or feeling a sense of hopelessness such that they will never find a “good” Black man. Ladies, let me tell you this, the brother out there who is looking for you right now may not be a “good” Black man, but if he is good for you, THEN WHO CARES!!! Fellas, we have a host of other issues but I will get to you later. But seriously fam, the constant filtering of love via status and self is killing our future families.
In closing I will repeat my question; what is the difference between a Black man and a good Black man?
Stay up fam,